It's not about football! It's about the license bureau!

Well today was the day...I went to the License Bureau AGAIN in hopes of gaining a legal Michigan driver's license. So how did it go? Well, lets see. You want the good, the bad or the ugly? The good is that in about 7-14 days I should be legal with driver's license in hand to drive in the state of Michigan. The bad? I'm not legal to drive anywhere right now! Ahhhhhhhh! They cut and punched a hole in my old Ohio license. Now really. Was that even necessary? Okay you already clipped it...did you really need to punch a hole in it as well? I mean really. The ugly. Well more like stupid. I go in there, by this point I carry a file folder with me with all my documents that they supposedly need so that I won't lose anything in between trips. Because (refer to previous blog) there have been plenty of trips. So I step up, same lady as last trip waits on me. I give her the folder with marriage license and she flips through it and asks where my proof of residency is. Trying to maintain my ever so calm cool and collected demeanor, I simply state that the last trip in, I had these documents, and she made copies and told me she would have to file them until I returned. Okay so she pulls my file. Nothing. Oh there's SOMETHING in there, but it's not the copies of my 2 credit card statements! So she says no one made copies...blah blah blah, and I interrupt with a "yes you did, I watched you do it". Now at this point might I remind you that I'm still collected. She then replies "Whatever". Yes she actually said whatever to me. Are you kidding? Isn't that a little immature? Are we in highschool here? So I ignore that, for now, and she starts checking off boxes and asking me to fill out what I already filled out 2 other times......okay so once again, I fill this form out. Then she asks me to step aside to get my eyes tested. I politely tell her I already took the eye test and passed. She then says "no one checked the box, so we have to do it again". Well that's a shocker, I mean they're so organized, I can't hardly believe that SHE didn't check the box last week. So I play along, take my eye exam and pass AGAIN. Alrighty....then she flips through my documents and I have a question. I ask her why is my marriage license important to transferring my license from Ohio to Michigan? She looks at me with total disgust and says "well M'am, the name on your birth certificate doesn't match the name on your Ohio license, that's why". Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Um of course it doesn't match! I wasn't born married to my husband! Not only that but my old license was in my married name and all my other documents were. But oh no, that's just not gonna do. So okay, I suppress my desire to choke her, and we move on. Step to the side, look up, click. What? Did you just take my picture without warning me? "Yes, that's correct". Um wait a minute...let me see that. Oh Good Lord...I demand a retake! So she humors me and retakes the photo. Okay now this is further than I've ever gotten in this process. I'm almost losing the attitude and converting to relief. Then I go to pay. I hand her my check card. "I'm sorry m'am, we only take cash, check or Discover card for your convenience". How is that in ANY WAY convenient to me? I didn't have my checkbook on me, and cash? I had a grand total of $4.52, not quite enough to cover it. And who even has a Discover card? She is grinning by this point so I'm fairly sure there is a conspiracy going on. Conspiracy? Yes. A conspiracy to drive me mad! So I tell her with increasing aggravation in my voice, that I am NOT coming back in here. She then points me toward an ATM at the back of the room. Ugh. Okay, so I pack up my folder, grab my purse and go to the ATM which of course charges you a fee because it's not compatable with any bank I've ever heard of. I go back and stand in line. I finally make my way back to her, then she asks for my old license again. I give it to her. And she takes a pair of scissors, clips it AND as if that wasn't quite enough, then she grabs a hole punch and punches a hole right through the middle. Okay, THAT'S a little dramatic, but okay. She then hands it back, with my receipt and tells me I'm done. Um. No. I'm not. Where's my license? "That will be sent to you by mail in 7-14 days". Ahhhhhhh! Okay 2 problems. 1. Is it just me or does this not really sound secure? What if it gets delivered to the wrong place? and 2. They still have copies floating around somewhere in that place of my credit card bills. She says they don't, but they do! How can I trust that I'll EVER get my license if they can't even keep track of a person's proof of identity? Ahhhhhhh! But what can I do? Nothing. Not a thing. So I walk out, not skipping with glee as I should, but slightly more upset than when I arrived, if that's even possible. Because now, I've gone through ALL this, paid them money, sacrificed my sanity....and for what? To be handed a mangled up gnarled version of my home state's driver's license. This is why the rivalry exists between the Buckeyes and the Wolverines. No no no it's not about football, that's just a front. It's about the license bureau. You see it's so simple. Because my husband moved from Michigan to Ohio after we met, and had to go through this same process down there. Although I must say, they're smarter and actually give you the license right then and there and skip losing it in the mail, but he too had to make more than one trip in to changes plates and get a new license. I'm telling you, there should be one driver's license that you need that would cover you in any state. That would make much more sense and then maybe, just maybe, my two beloved states could coexist in harmony.