Sunday, April 27, 2008

"Slimwear" or better known as Fat Suckers

I have been intrigued by this concept since the birth of my second child. I am not what you would call overweight, but I still have that illusion in my head that after giving birth by c-section to 2 kids, my body should have recovered by now. I won't even mention how tiny I was before my 1st child came along, I might cry and you might cyber slap me. ha! But the fact remains, things are not as they once were. So I browsed online on and off for months, but refused to pay $50.00-$80.00 for a piece of lycra. But, I would however pay $12.00 + shipping and handling. This undergarment came with excellent reviews, so it seemed my prayers had been answered. I enthusiastically placed my order and awaited my new fat sucker by mail, which came astonishingly fast, 2 days later. I ordered a Large, as the sizing chart seemed to be off by normal standards, so I played it safe. As soon as the box arrived I wanted to try them on. One review claimed that it helped her lose 14 pounds! Could it be so? I eagerly ripped the plastic that encased my magic undies, much like an overeager child lunging for their presents at Christmastime, and raced to the bathroom to try them on. Once I fought with them and pulled, jerked and manhandled them on, first I noticed that they came up to just beneath my boobs. Wow, not very attractive, but hey, who's going to see it besides maybe my husband, if he's lucky? I'm sure he'll be enticed. lol The next thing I noticed is that they REALLY DO suck those problem areas IN. Wow. I was impressed, for a minute. And then I felt a wave come over me...was it the magic working? No, it was my circulation cutting off. They weren't the most comfortable garment I've ever worn, but such is the price for beauty, or the illusion anyway. So I continued to try to "break them in", and wore them throughout the day. I guess the most surprising thing was that all sensation left my lower extremities. Well I mean I could walk, I can't say whether it was graceful, but I could walk. What I am really speaking of though is there was no urge to go pee. No I didn't pee my pants, but it's a good thing I noticed it had been oh several hours since I went, because once those fat suckers came down and circulation was restored...well you get my drift. I wore them at dinner and could only eat 1/2 what I normally eat. So yes, I could see where a person could shed a few pounds if they wore them 24/7. I can't say I'm dedicated to wearing them to lose weight, but I am sure I will wear them again, for special occasions. I guess when it comes down to comfort versus beauty, comfort wins hands down for me. I am a jeans and tshirt kinda girl, give me a comfy pair of sweats and a hoodie anyday over having to dress up. I have never been a big fan of the concept "no pain, no gain". I am not trying to deter you ladies from trying slimwear, just beware there is no magical fix, but for an evening, we can pretend, as long as you remember to go pee.

Friday, April 25, 2008

When the ants come marching in...

Well we seem to have ourselves a little ant problem. By little I mean, they're huge carpenter ants that may just carry me away in the cover of night. I HATE bugs. A bug is a bug to me, I hate them equally one and all. So to solve this problem, my dear husband set out these little bate things. Which really don't seem to be doing a whole heckuva lot. He doesn't want to spray. Okay, so what are our options then? Let them move in? I know with all the current hype about eco friendly everything, that bug spray is probably on the top of the no-no list. But I have to say, if it kills em, I'm all for it. I do have a list of natural remedies that may, or may not, work. These include peppermint, orange peels, cream of tartar, etc. Now I am not above giving these things a try, but I can't see myself laying orange peels around my baseboards and sprinkling cream of tartar and crushed peppermint on the outside of the house. Do you have any idea how many cases of cream of tartar I would need to purchase to get the job done? Maybe for minor infestations these might work, but let me tell ya, we have a situation on our hands over here! We did conclude that they are probably coming from the beams above us in the living room. These beams, unbenownst to us before we moved in, are rotten and need replaced. And we all know that carpenter ants love damp rotten wood. So it stands to reason they would cozy in there. Fortunatley we only see these little creeps on one floor of the house, and many die before I have the chance to kill them. But some are still alive and severly creeping me out. I am constantly swatting myself when nothing is there. I question my sanity at this point, but c'mon, bugs just give me the heeby jeebies! It's the same reason why I am not the biggest fan of camping. The last time I went, I woke up in the morning and opened my eyes to a huge daddy long legs staring at me. This is not cool. Bugs were made for out there, humans were made for in here. You go there, I stay here, and we're all good. So I talked to his (my husband's) best friend today, and you know that if I as his wife can't talk sense into him, who better to do the job? So Scott called tonight and voila, all of a sudden he's thinking maybe we should get a second opinion (besides his) on this whole ant situation. Ya think? I am calling to get quotes tomorrow! Yay! There is light at the end of this dark creepy tunnel! I don't know about you, but for me, the site of bugs crawling amongst us, no matter what KIND of bug, I just can't take it. Okay now I can handle a bug or two, that's to be expected, we live on the outskirts of town with woods around us. But to have them migrate from faraway lands and claim this, our new home, as THEIR new home, is NOT acceptable! I am reminded of the mucinex commercial, only in my mind, instead of the mucus with their little suitcases, I envision ants. lol I have, on the bright side, found a magical solution that is non toxic to kill them AND also does a great job on windows! A couple squirts of Dawn dish soap in a spray bottle, fill the rest with water, and spray. It suffocates them instantly and gives the windows a glorious streak free shine. So that has been my sad delight on what was probably the last gorgeous day we'll have for several more. I am the ant suffocator. And I delighted in it. I have no problem with them outside. I will go out of my way not to step on them when they're on THEIR turf. But when they have the nerve to think they're going to set up a circus in my home, it's ON! They may win a battle or two, but I shall win the war! I did however take a break from the bug executions today and took a bike ride with Brandon. That was so nice! Although a bug flew down my shirt towards the end of our trek and almost made me crash, I avoided disaster and quickly went home to my garage where I flailed and jumped and flapped my shirt up and down much like the wet tshirt contest girls do. lol The bug died of shock I think, it just fell out, didn't even fight me. Anyway onward and upward I say! Til next time.....

Brief Intro

So where to start? I guess I'm now a "blogger?" I have a myspace that I keep the occasional blog on, but I do love to write so in an effort to give my soul a little cup of joy, here goes. I am Liz, mommy of 2, 3 if you count my husband (I think you'd agree, husbands count). Brandon is my oldest, he is 12 going on 2, and Hailey is 3 going on 16. They are the joys of my life, oh and let me not forget James, the fatherchild. I live a pretty middle America life, just bought a house in October (yay!), which we are now rennovating (boo!). I realize all of my good fortune and all of my blessings, so at any time in future blogs where I might complain, it is all in good fun and/or to let off a little steam. Please no hate mail. haha However brief my introduction, I will expand on this later. For now, I have ants to kill. We seem to have an invasion of carpenter ants, and they seem to be dead set on driving especially me batty. I will elaborate on this matter later as well, off I go wielding a spray bottle of dawn dishsoap and water (eco friendly AND it works!).