Where oh where has my baby gone?

No my "baby" isn't missing. In fact, my "baby", my first born, now stands 5'6 and just celebrated his 13th birthday!! Just to give you a fair warning, today was, in a nutshell, sad. If you are a mother, then chances are you understand exactly where I'm coming from. Wait, let me add, if you are a mother of a TEEN, then you will understand. Most of my friends are not quite to that point yet and probably think I am being overly dramatic and emotional. To those, I say with love, just you wait. There are certain milesstones in your child's life that are bittersweet. Like the day they start kindergarten and you realize, they are old enough to go to school now, and you won't be the only influence teaching and guiding them anymore. They will have teachers and friends and an array of other outsiders that you pray will be good influences on them.

I have been dreading this for almost a year now. In true form, I like to start worrying ahead of time, get a jump start on the actual event that I dread or fear, that way it doesn't sneak up on me and surprise me. HA! It's the end of an era, and the beginning of a whole new one. I put on a happy face, and celebrate, despite part of my heart wrenching. He had a "rockin" birthday,(his words) despite the fact 1. his mother was in mourning, and 2. his step father and I were both sick with terrible colds that had us violently sneezing and under heavy medication (Sudafed and Nyquil rock! Of course not combined). Thankfully he was preoccupied by the magic of turning 13 (and I'm sure the cake and presents didn't hurt either).

I couldn't be more proud or have asked for a better son. These 13 years have been quite a journey, full of ups and downs, learning curves, mistakes, triumphs, laughter and lots of love. Did I mention he had colic? I always have to remind him (and everyone else) of 2 things: first being how long I labored with him and second, how he had colic and the fact that I didn't get a full night's sleep for the first 2years of his life. I feel it my duty to let him know what a trooper I've been. HAHA Of course his (paternal) grandma has to dispute this, doubting the fact that he ever cried at all. God bless her, that's all I have to say on that one. And yes, he cried, I cried, it was hellish but we made it through and I'd do it all over again if I had to. Of course if I did it again, I'd be more demanding of help the second time around. It's amazing how much you come to learn over the years. His biolgoical father was rarely there, and never helpful, so that part I wouldn't do over if you paid me. But we overcame, we conquered, we survived, we got the heck out!

My final point being, smelly socks, shaggy hair, crumbs and spills, and yes, even back talk aside, I know in my heart I am blessed. He is growing into a fine young man, intelligent, with a heart of gold. And my oh my is he a cutie (of course I'm not just saying that, he really is!). Part of me would like to freeze time, maybe not at this age, perhaps 2 or 3 years sooner, and keep him young and adoring and safe for all time. But such is not the case....they grow up with or without my consent. Today was the end of one chapter, the Childhood chapter, and the beginning of new one, with much unchartered territory to be discovered. This chapter will be called The Teenage Years (insert music to the Wonder Years). How I wish my mother were here to see him, and to give advice (of course she'd also get a kick out of some of my plight, saying the curse has worked!! ha!). I have been blessed to have people along the way to lean on, to guide me, and to vent to, and even some who in their zest to love and help, have been smothering and overbearing at times, their intentions were pure enough, so I forgive. Through everyone I have learned, even if it was learning how not to be, at least I learned.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON!! From your funny, witty, loving, Mom xoxoxox