The Big Debut

Yesterday I made my annual yardsaling debut. I LOVE yard sales, garage sales, flea markets, you name it, I love it. You know the saying...your trash may be someone else's treasure. It's the most cost effective way to get your shopping fix on while also buying things you may need for home, kids, sports, etc. I mean really, it makes perfect sense to me. So normally my strategy is, if I hit the mother load, so as not to freak my husband out at the mass quantities of other people's junk stuff that I have purchased, I stow it away in the trunk and sift it in little by little when he's not looking. hehe Hey, don't roll your eyes, you know you do it, and if you don't, then you should try it and save some of the banter that goes like this: Husband: "Honey, do we REALLY need that?" Me: "Why yes schnookems, we DO need a set of 1970's tupperware, the mustard yellow brings back such fond memories" or Husband: "Honey, why is a bike tied to the hood of the car?" Me: "Well honeycakes, you see I found one dirt cheap at a yard sale today, thought we could use a spare with rising gas prices and all." or Husband:"Why did you get another printer, we already have one". Me: "Well shmoopie whoopie, it was only $5.00 and it's only been used once, so I figured why not have two so I don't have to run clear downstairs and mess with your irritating tempermental printer that NEVER works for anyone but you, sweetie pie". And here is the $5.00 printer... So you see, there IS a method to my madness here. I try to be sneaky avoid that unnecessary interrogation banter and slowly but surely hide find places and uses for all of my newfound treasures. Much like how a small child, when asked to clean his room, will tell you they're done in record time. And at first glance it looks great, until you peak under a bed or open an armoire, and get smacked in the head with an avalanche of Star Wars action figures. I blame it on my kids for teaching me such devious tactics. What's funny is, my husband will once in a while take notice of something, at random, that I've actually had for quite sometime. He'll get a puzzled look on his face, like he's thinking "Heyyyyy, wait a minute here....". Yeah he's pretty fast on the uptake. He'll ask me "uh honey, where did that disco ball come from?" "Oh hon, I've had that for awhile, you're just now noticing?" LOL Ohhhh okay okay, so I made that up, but it's half true. He WILL notice things, it just takes him a minute. Anyway, to the beginning of a new and wonderous yardsale season, and to the endless opportunities to buy things we need and sometimes we don't, at a fraction of the cost! Every summer I have my garage sale as well, at least that is the plan. I give myself "rules" about the mass piles of junk I can accumulate. You see, for every load of crap bag of goodies I bring in, something must go out. I must purge, otherwise we'd be bursting at the seams here, and then I'd have to have an intervention. I could see it all now. Friends and family gathered 'round, looking solemn with lone tears rolling down their cheeks. And I walk in, unsuspecting of course, high from my latest binge on yardsales, dragging a tote of barbies and a basket of oven mitts along for the ride. I look strung out, sweaty, hair pulled back, cotton mouth, and then I look up. And there is the "specialist". He would stand up and offer his hand and tell me "your family loves you Elizabeth, they want you back...they feel they're losing you in all these piles..." hehehee Okay well that's a stretch, but I have actually known a couple people who probably could've used a good intervention. no, for real Anyway back to business here. So I am having a garage sale myself soon, well hopefully it will be a "garage" sale and not a sunporch or deck sale. This would depend upon my husband and how readily he rids the garage of his mass quantities of construction crap stuff. Just a few short weeks ago, a dear friend of mine offered her time to come and lend a hand and totally gut the garage. yes it was gleaming by the time we were done, organized, beautiful! And then just days later, my husband saw this as his opportunity to stuff more towering piles in there. I will give you a glimpse of my predicament: This is why I can't park in there, have never parked in there, and am wondering if I will EVER park in there, let alone host my big garage sale???? I suspect he will clear it out, but he will procrastinate until the night before and be up all hours dragging in insulation and drywall, shuffling piles from garage to family room. I've already threatened him asked him not to pile any family space we are currently using. But really, where oh where would he put 45 bundles of insulation? Oh you mean where it's supposed to go? In the attic you say? Oh heck no, God forbid he ask a friend to help him and knock that off the to-do list HA! I think he rather likes his piles, I think it makes him feel all warm and gooey inside, much like chocolate or a good Lifetime Movie does for me. He can be a bit of a pack rat, in case the picture above doesn't illustrate that clearly enough, let me invite you for a short visit inside the mind of my husband. You open a box, go ahead, any box. big or small. What have we here? In one hand I hold a dilapidated wallet he's been hanging onto since 9th grade. I kid you not people! And in the other hand we have 12 old door hinges masking taped together. Why? Why are we saving these? Well HELLO! Just in case all of our door hinges spontaneously combust and need replaced? And the wallet, who knows when that could come in handy! maybe, if Brandon is real lucky, he'll pass it on to him! Okay aside from the sarcastic spin, I ain't makin this stuff up! The difference between our piles? I don't stare at the same piles for months on end and get the same glee as he, oh no, that's not how I roll. At least there is a fair turn around with my piles, and my piles are better concealed. I can't wait for his man cave, den, whatever you want to call it, to be done so I can start shovin his beloved piles on in there. He is lucky he's so darn loved and pretty handy to have around, or I'd roll him in the insulation and store both in the shed!