MOMMA SAID THERE'D BE DAYS LIKE THIS

Because I Said So!

2011-01-14T09:22:00.005-05:00

A friend and fellow blogger is needing our help! She is absolutely fabulous and her wit and humor will leave you wanting to read more, day after day. Please check out her blog Because I Said So, and her new bookYou'll Lose the Baby Weight: (And Other Lies about Pregnancy and Childbirth).

Life Is What You Make It

2011-01-13T10:57:00.004-05:00

I know I haven't been keeping up with my blog, and to the few readers I have left, you are troopers! My life has been a little crazy, as I shared in my previous post, my father is very ill. He remains in a nursing home and I continue commuting back and forth to Ohio every 4-6 weeks to visit, help, and just be with him for whatever time he has left. My last trip was pretty sad, I was told there is nothing more they can do for him. He has deteriorated before my eyes for a year and a half. I guess looking back there were signs even before all this happened, but I chose the ignorance is bliss approach. There is no ignoring it now. Although for my 4 siblings, they sure seem to be doing a wonderful job at it. I still get no help or support from them, and even worse, my Dad and step mom get no support when I am not there with them. I do as much as I can both when I'm with them and when I'm home. When I visit, I clean the house, pay the bills, take my Step Mom to doctor visits, go to meetings with my Dad's care providers, visit with him, do special little things that I hope help lift his spirits. When I lost my Mom, not that it was easy because it wasn't, but once again, I'd ignored a lot, and then she was gone. This time around I don't want regrets. The easier way I imagine is what my siblings do, which is nothing. I could make excuses and say because I live 4 hours away, it's just impossible for me to make these trips, uproot my life and my children that often, and well, there is expense involved. But I could not live with myself if I wasn't there for him. I truly don't understand my brothers and sisters, and because of the fact that I've dealt with this alone all this time, I don't have relationships with any of them really. I can be cordial, but I have given up trying to get them to do what I believe to be the right thing in this scenario. All I can do is do what I do, I can only control myself and how I respond to situations. Other than grief and bitterness, I've been peachy! No there have been joys this last year has brought. God works in mysterious ways. All of my old friends that I'd lost touch with over the years, literally ALL of them, have resurfaced in my life. So where I lack sibling support, I have an abundance of friendship. Many are like the sisters I never had. And my husband has been amazing. For all his quirks that I've talked about in previous blogs, I truly don't know what I'd do without him. From the beginning of our relationship to now, he picks up where others pitifully leave off. From caring for my son and helping to raise him, which has not been an easy ride for him given my ex's side of the family, to all the disaster and crisis management he provides me, he is my rock and my soft place to fall. He loves my son as much as he does the daughter we have together. He provides, loves, spends time with, encourages and parents them with me. He reminds me I am not in this life alone. I have a partner and a witness to my life, to all my joys, and all my sadness. And then God did bless me with an incredible sense of humor. I know in my heart I never would have made it out of my disastrous first marriage without 3 things. Faith in God, faith in myself, and an ability to laugh. I struggle with forgiveness but I am human. I struggle to forgive my siblings for their shortcomings with my father. I struggle to forgive the ex for years and years worth of abuse, both that he did to me and to himself. I struggle to forgive friends who've hurt me. I struggle to forgive others who remain in my life because of my son. I'm a work in progress. I'm trying. I always try to be a better person, though some days are better than others. So while this post has been all over the place, maybe some of you can relate to something I've said. Whether it be becoming the parent to your parent, appreciating Gods blessings, overcoming life's traumas, or learning to forgive.... just put one foot in front of the other and remember above all, life isn't easy, but it IS what you make it.

It's been a while.....

2010-10-08T08:59:00.004-04:00

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged. I am still among the living. This past year has brought about an abundance of change to my life. The biggest being that my father has been ill for the last year (since last summer) and is now living in a nursing facility for round the clock care. It has been one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life. It has also been a roller coaster ride. Back and forth trips to Ohio almost monthly since August of 2009. He is my only living parent, my mother passed away in 2005. He remarried a lovely lady, my step mother, whom I adore, but she too is in poor health. So it's been much like having 2 extra children and trying to care for them 4 hours away.

It's a long story so I will try to condense it down to a readable version. Last summer I took the kids to Ohio for our usual Summer Retreat to the homeland (we're Buckeyes, born and bred). I had this feeling before I left home that something was going to happen, like this trip was not going to be our usual fun filled adventure. Well I was right, in more than one way. Soon after arriving in Ohio I set up camp at my "best friend's" house. She and her husband had been having marital problems so I was uneasy about staying with them in the first place, simply because I didn't want to add anymore stress to the household than what they already were trying to manage. She insisted I stay so we did so. My daughter ends up getting sick shortly into our visit, ending our short time there with a projectile vomitfest all over their dining room floor. That was my que it was time to go to my Dad's, let her rest, and visit with my family. Also at this time, my friend thought it would be a good idea to lecture me on my parenting decision to send my daughter to kindergarten in the Fall. THAT is a whole story in itself, which I will save for another time or perhaps not even tell. So it was definitely time for us to vacate. Hailey was sick, and I was extremely hurt and agitated by her overly aggressive opinions on my parenting. We get settled in at my Dad's, Hailey gets over her stomach bug and then proceeds to catch a terrible cough! My step mom at this time was also sick and ended up in the hospital on her birthday no less. The day after that, is when my world changed. I was going to drop my son off at his Grandma's and my first instinct was to call her and tell her just to come pick him up. When will I ever learn to go with my gut? I was tired, had been doing a lot of running and a lot of taking care of my father in my step mom's absence. When I go to Ohio for these "vacations", I often feel the need for a vacation by the time I get home! It's more wearing than anyone knows. Anyway, I go to drop him off and my Dad wants to come along for the ride. His mobility was already shaky, but I felt for him being couped up at home all the time. So I told him to wait in the lobby of their apartment building while I pull the car around, then Brandon could help him out to the car. By the time I pull the car around, he was off to the races approaching my car. I jump out scolding him for being too hasty, and the next thing I know, he goes to get in my car, maneuvers the wrong way, and down he goes. He is a big guy and luckily I broke his fall or he would have surely gone backwards cracking his head on the cement. My heart just sank as it seemed to happen in slow motion. Seeing your elderly father in such a helpless state, and not being strong enough to help him back to his feet yourself (even with assistance from my son), it's disheartening to say the least. A kind couple drove by and pulled over, and called 911 for us. They stayed with us until the Medics arrived. The firemen gathered around him and without hesitation, began hoisting him up. However, his leg was under my car door. As they kept yanking I saw that his leg was trapped, so I pointed out that they might want to move him back before pulling him up. They did, then got him up and in the car and were ready to be on their way. I felt they might want to check him out before rushing off...so they checked vitals and told me to call if I needed them again. Now how on earth was I supposed to get him OUT of the car and back inside? I put that on hold while I took my son to drop him off, then I began calling cousins to come help me when I got back to his apartment. Just then my Dad very calmly tells me his leg hurts. I assumed it would, it was probably badly bruised. I told him we would look at it, but first I needed to get help to get him safely back inside. A couple minutes later, he tells me his leg hurts really bad, and that he wants to go to the ER. He was very calm, so I was still thinking it was bruised. I take him to the ER, I sit with him for about an hour, but at this point it's getting late and I have my daughter with me who is sick. So I tell the nurses I am going to run home and get her medicine, a nice warm bath, then I will be back. I do just that, only before I had a chance to come back, the nurse calls me. She informs me they are admitting my Dad, his leg is broken badly in two places!! I begin bawling. All I can think of is how I should have made him stay home or insisted that my ex mother in law come pick up my son for her time with him. A million things rush through my mind, as I bawl into the phone to this stranger. She assures me he is quite comfortable and asks me if I want to talk to him. I sobbed yes, so I pulled it together as they put him on the phone with me. My Dad sounded fine and dandy (thanks to Morphine), as I whimpered to him how sorry I was. He jovially asked me why I was sorry? He said "you didn't push me down, I fell". Well yes, there is that small comfort that I didn't throw my Dad down to the ground, but still, if I'd done one little thing differently, his leg would still be in one piece and none of this would be happening. So we wrap up our conversation with I love you's, then he puts the nurse back on the phone. She proceeds to tell me that my Dad will need surgery the next day to fix the breaks. I fell apart all over again, once again sobbing to this barer of bad news. This surgery would set in motion a whole chain of events that would be the downfall of my father. He has not been "right" since last summer. He has not been home since last summer. He has been in and out of hospitals, and is now in his 3rd nursing facility. He has never fully regained his mobility, his overall health has declined, his diabetes is out of control, we learned he has congestive heart failure and kidney failure, and last but not least, some dementia that at times, resembles Alzheimer's. Every visit I make is bittersweet now. It's always good to see Daddy, but seeing him in the state he's in now, and gradually getting worse, is a constant weight in my heart. As for my step mom, she is now also in the same nursing facility, though hopefully not permanently. I continue to make my treks back and forth, as none of my siblings that live down there are helpful in any way. It's the right thing to do, to be there for your parents, to visit, to care, to help. Because one day I will be old and frail and I will hope that my children take heart and visit me too.

It's all good until you get a recycled number

2009-03-25T20:09:00.006-04:00

I am a huge fan of recycling. This wasn't always so. I used to be a pitcher. I hate clutter, and I like(d) the instant gratification pitching things in the trash gives you. Ahhhhhh, that clean & organized feeling. I hate piles, don't even get me started. And lets face it, recycling is a bit of work. These reycling centers are picky about the condition the recyclables are in. You must be detail oriented. Remove staples, bottle caps, paper wrappers, wash and rinse...okay, so it's effort, big whoop. I hopped aboard this crazy train about 2 years ago, thanks to my son in part, and the Psychotic Pimple (ex friend, see previous blog post for more info). As much as I'd like to dismiss any and all advice or demands she ever gave me, this one has stuck.

However, there is one thing I would prefer not to be recycled for my convenience. And this would be........my telephone number. My son got a cell phone for his birthday. Yay right? Well no, not really. His phone has been ringing incessantly!!!What you say? Does he have a secret life? Who is calling him all hours day and night? At first I was geared up to lecture him on the evils of giving every Tom Dick and Harry his new cell number. But then he showed me the numbers that were calling all hours of the day and night, and they were all various 800 numbers. Then I started answering his cell phone for him. Here's how a couple of the calls went:

ring ring ring ring

ME: hello?

Western Watts Corporation: (heavy accent) Hi m'am! garble garble garble 10 minute survey garble garble garble jibberish?

ME: Please take our number off your list, this is my son's cell phone.

Western Watts Corporation: Ma'm, garble jibberish survey and jibberish garble of your time?

ME: click

ring ring ring ring ring

ME: hello?

Unidentified caller: Is (name has been changed to protect lady that gave everyone except her mother her cell phone number) Lilly Bilkins available?

ME: no, you have the wrong number, please take us off your list, this is my son's cell phone

THEM: Oh, are you sure she isn't there?

ME: Um yes, unless she is hiding under our stairs, I'm fairly sure she isn't here

THEM: silence.....

ME: My son just got this cell number, please remove it from your list

THEM: um okay

ring ring ring ring ring

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! (that would be me)

ME: HELLO?

Some financial institution that speaks part french and I couldn't tell you much of what the automated thing said until Spencer got on the line

Spencer: Hello, is Sissy Bilkins there?

ME: Who?

Spenser: Sissy Bilkins

ME: It's Lilly Bilkins

Spencer: I apologize m'am, are you Sissy..I mean Lilly Bilkins?

ME: *heavy sigh* No

Spencer: Okay ma'm, is there a better time to reach her?

ME: No

Spencer: I'm not sure I understand?

ME: you have the wrong number, you and 10 other people, are calling my teenage son sir, please stop it

Spencer: This isn't Sis...I mean Lilly Bilkins number?

ME: No

Spencer: Oh I am doubly sorry ma'm for your inconvenience but it will take 48-72 hours for this number to be removed from our list. Until then, please accept my apologies for any future calls.

ME: SILENCE

ring ring ring ring ring......

Now I am going to have some fun.......

ME: (in a heavy southern accent) PURDY'S PAINTING, THIS IS POLLY SPEAKING, HOW MAY I HELP YOU?!!

Telemarketer or debt collector, take your pick: Short pause....."Um, is Mrs. Bilkins available? May I speak with Mrs. Lilly Bilkins please?

ME: heavy accent: why you sure can't ma'm!! NEED I REMIND YOU THIS IS PURDY'S PAINTING?! THERE IS NOONE HERE BY THAT NAME HON, BUT IF YOU ARE IN NEED OR FIXIN TO PAINT THEN I'M YOUR GIRL!

THEM: dead silence

ME: HON? YOU THERE SWEETIE? WELL SHUCKS, DID I LOSE YA?

THEM: CLICK

Okay okay okay.....I'm bad. It's not their fault that we got a number that happened to be pre-used and apparently well advertised. But I can't help but get my bloomers in a twist, as every time they call it chews up our minutes, wastes not just minutes on our plan, but minutes of MY LIFE, and Brandon can't even enjoy one uninterupted phone call without some other random 800 caller beeping in. We could ignore the calls and let them flow freely to voicemail and hope that one day they would get the hint and go away. But I don't think that would happen anytime soon. Meanwhile, we'd be stuck listening and deleting 20 voicemails a day. No I think our only option is to give back Lilly's number, and tell them we don't really like Lilly. She was a little too loose with that cell number if you ask me.

Spring has sprung!

2009-03-22T01:13:00.004-04:00

Well this week was certainly better than the last! Weather wise, attitude wise, it was better. The beginning of the week greeted us with a warm high of 68 degrees. I got a lot of yard work done and could barely move by Wednesday. The temperature dropped sharply by Thursday to 23 degrees (need I remind you where I live? Antartica! Michigan really, but that's my nickname). So the fun in the sun...or yard, came to a hault until today. The sun peeked out mid afternoon and got up to 52....so out we went, Hailey singing loudly Happy Burtday to Aunt Backy, Happy Burtday to Aunt Backy... and riding her Dora bike, while I rake my neverending yard. Then I saw woodpeckers and I knew Spring is finally here. If you haven't read my older posts, go back and read 100 Acre Woods. We have a multitude of wildlife here, so once I start seeing Woody and Hootie, I know it's just a matter of time before warm temps are here to stay.

So I raked and raked and was pretty proud of my accomplishments. Two hours later my back was beginning to tell me it's time for a break. Then I went along the side of the house to do just one more area around the bushes. We have a hill that leads down to the brooke. I was up around the bushes furiously raking dead leaves when I lost my footing, hit a mud slide and away I went! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Luckily I caught myself before I went into the ~~rushing river~~ little brooke in our yard! My daughter wasn't phased by my tumble, in fact, she told me she couldn't catch me. Thanks darling. What a dear. Anyway, so I got up and looked around (for anyone shooting a You Tube video) and dusted myself off, put the rake up by the deck, and decided that was my que. Two hours is a good run for raking anyway. By now I've spent 6 hours this week on the yard, mostly raking, and other cleanup. It's coming together nicely. Once the grass turns green again, I'll take a pic and post it. Right now, there's some sad bald patches and brown grass. I am hoping it will turn back to green, it gives the yard a healthier glow that way.

Where to begin?

2009-03-22T01:02:00.004-04:00

Okay so I joined Twitter recently and have been exposed to a whole new online community! I've found new blogs to enjoy, new friends to chat with, and a slew of blogging resources. Where to begin? I would like to step it up on a notch here and revamp my blog, but I haven't the foggiest clue how or where to begin? I want a new layout, more readers, more exposure, more more more! ha! I have found that there are "professional bloggers" out there. What? Whaaaaaaat? There is such a thing? Well sign me up! Count me in! I did find, via Problogger, a job board, so I will be looking into that tomorrow. I love to write, and I would love to do it as a career/profession. I've always wanted to write a book, in fact, several people have told me I should. Yet, I haven't. So I have decided to pursue what I want to be when I grow up....a writer! Do I think I'll be the next Best Seller? Who knows. I just want to write. Whether it goes Global or stays within the confines of my little corner of the internet, then so be it, I'm writing. Even better to get paid to do it, but hey, beggers can't be choosers. So if anyone out there has any tips, advice, direction, guidance, therapy....well let me have it; Point me in the right direction please!

Queen of Relationships Contest

2009-03-20T23:29:00.005-04:00

I am posting this on behalf of a fellow blogger, and absolutely fabulous woman! Without further ado......

(This was copied from her website, there will be a link at the end so you can run over and check her awesome blog out!) It’s Time For A Contest!!Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Gerbils and Hamsters…It’s time for our first..and I do mean our FIRST…Queen of Relationships Contest! Are you excited? I know I am. I thought since we have a new look and all, it was time for something different and fun! So, with that being said….let the games begin! PRIZE: $100 + Your entry will be published on my blog with your personal and/or business links, etc. 1. You must subscribe to The Queen of Relationships Blog by RSS feed or email. Oh come on, you knew that was coming. 2. If you post the contest on your blog, website, twitter etc..you get an extra entry for each post. You must show me where it’s been posted. 3. You must e-mail your contest entry to queen@queenofrelationships.com 4. You must put “QOR Entry” in subject line. 5. Contest will end April 10th, 2009 @ 6:00 pm. 6. Monies will be mailed out the day after the contest. Contest Entry Must Include: You must dig deep into your soul, yes I said dig and I do mean dig…The Queen would like for you to answer one simple question, which is “What is the meaning of true love?”. You can write about an experience, a situation, the first time you knew you were in love, etc. There is no right or wrong answer because it’s your opinion and your feelings. Don’t worry, entries will not be graded on grammar or dangling participles..did I just say that? While I love reading, please try to keep it within a few paragraphs….unless you just can’t help yourself. Hey, love does that to people sometimes. So, with that being said, it’s time for you to start writing so I can start reading. Good luck! It’s Time For A Contest!!Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Gerbils and Hamsters…It’s time for our first..and I do mean our FIRST…Queen of Relationships Contest! Are you excited? I know I am. I thought since we have a new look and all, it was time for something different and fun! So, with that being said….let the games begin! PRIZE: $100 + Your entry will be published on my blog with your personal and/or business links, etc. 1. You must subscribe to The Queen of Relationships Blog by RSS feed or email. Oh come on, you knew that was coming. 2. If you post the contest on your blog, website, twitter etc..you get an extra entry for each post. You must show me where it’s been posted. 3. You must e-mail your contest entry to queen@queenofrelationships.com 4. You must put “QOR Entry” in subject line. 5. Contest will end April 10th, 2009 @ 6:00 pm. 6. Monies will be mailed out the day after the contest. Contest Entry Must Include: You must dig deep into your soul, yes I said dig and I do mean dig…The Queen would like for you to answer one simple question, which is “What is the meaning of true love?”. You can write about an experience, a situation, the first time you knew you were in love, etc. There is no right or wrong answer because it’s your opinion and your feelings. Don’t worry, entries will not be graded on grammar or dangling participles..did I just say that? While I love reading, please try to keep it within a few paragraphs….unless you just can’t help yourself. Hey, love does that to people sometimes. So, with that being said, it’s time for you to start writing so I can start reading. Good luck! http://queenofrelationships.com/its-time-for-a-contest/

Procrastinators Unite...Tomorrow

2009-03-20T09:58:00.002-04:00

So I haven't been my normal hilarious self lately, what with all the talk of a friendship that went down like the Titanic, bullies, and mean people in general. I figure I owe it to you to step off the crazy train now, and leave all that yuck behind and return to normal. I was thinking of what I could blog about, and something came to mind, along with a clear (and funny) example.

Procrastination. Standing up, hanging head in shame, I confess, I am a procrastinator. However, I am married to an even bigger one. Oh yes, my one true love, my heart's desire, my Knight in Shining Armour.....is the biggest "why do today what I can do 3 months from now" guy. It drives me INSANE!! Come on over and take a look around if you don't believe me. We've been remodelling since forever it seems, but by remodelling I really mean, he's been starting project after project and then leaving them hanging to move on to other projects, which he has perfectly reasonable (only to him) explanations for why he can't complete just ONE project at a time. The remodel stopped a few months ago, and now it's like pulling teeth to get him to even plunge a toilet. Oh but if a friend calls or his Mom (we won't go there on this post, that will be a post all itself), to fix something or to spend a day doing plumbing, roofing, or any number of things, he jumps right on it. So why oh why oh why can I not get him to put the rest of the drywall up or finish the insulation in the attic or finish the downstairs bathroom??? Because, he is a putter offer, a "it'll get done" kinda guy. Meaning, it'll get done on HIS terms and in HIS time. Okay so now that I've made it clear how I really feel, here is an example of the negative consquences he gets for doing tomorrow what should've been done 2 weeks ago.

My white Caterra sat parked off to the side in the grass by the corner lot (which is all woods) for months because, in a nutshell, it's posessed. It was a fine car, and still looks very sleek. I love that car. But for the fact it has had one problem after another after a darn nother for the last year. And they aren't just minor things, they cost us big. So we decided to park it several months ago and the only place to do that was a spot over by the woods, out of the way of the driveway and garage.

Now I might add that the car sat through the winter, buried in 2 feet of snow. And once that thawed, the monsoon like rains came. Two weeks ago the ground was still frozen, which WOULD have been the prime time to move the car back over by the garage, if not to work on it, just to get it moved before the ground thawed. I had the foresight to see this, he did not. He waited. And it rained. He waited some more. And it rained even more. Then the ground thawed. Do you see where I am going with this??

So one day last weekend I am getting the kids ready to run errands. James said he was going to move the car into the garage that day to replace spark plugs and see how it runs after that. I began hurrying around, I did not want to be here when he started THAT project. I knew it would be a sight and there would involve some bad language. However, as fast as my little legs could carry me around the house, it just wasn't fast enough. hailey came up the stairs hollaring "Daddy needs you Mom!". Oh no. So I grabbed a jacket and as I walked through the open garage I saw quite a sight. There was my husband, muddy and disheveled, asking for my help. Oh goody. so I approach him as he directs me to walk through the swamp, get in the car and push on the gas while he physically pushes the car out of the mud pit. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don't have time for this, nor do I want to play in the mud with him. Against my own will, I step in the mud. Luckily I had my winter boots on because we do live in Antartica, so the boots don't get put away until July. SQUISH. SQUISH SLOP SQUISH SLOP. Oh yuck. Now I'm standing in about a foot of mud. What the hell was he thinking parking the car in this area? So I delicately try to get in the car without dragging a ton of mud in with me. He has it in reverse, so he yells for me to give it a little gas, as he pushes. So I do, but I give it to much gas and it kicks up mud everywhere. whoopsie. So I roll the window down as he has his ever popular one eyebrow up. Then he instructs me on how this delicate operation should go down, I listen, and then I give it some gas, let off, give it gas, let off, give it gas....and we get nowhere fast. Then I suggest he put something under the back tires, like something hard, to give it something to catch hold of. Then I get out, slop through the mud, and we get two good sized boards out of the garage. He places them under the back tires, or as close to it as he can. I step back in the mud and feel a cold sensation. What is it? It's mud. Mud in my boot. Oh isn't this just peachy? I get in the car, by now I am testy. This better work. So I get in and give it some gas. I didn't mean to (or maybe it was a subconcious thing?), but I gave it too much and flung mud up all over him. Now he's yelling, I'm yelling and Brandon comes out to see what the commotion is. He begins laughing. Not a good idea. He quickly turns around, still laughing at us, and goes back inside. By now we have spent a solid hour on this. I go over my mental to do list and start thinking if we don't get this show on the road, my errands will be cut short and I'll be that must testier.

Like an angel sent from Heaven, our neighbor that lives 3 doors down on the left, happened to be driving by. He pulls over and asks if we want a tow out. YES!!! I wanted to hug him, if not for the fact I'd never met him so that might be a little awkward. So I harnessed my joy, and shook his hand. We must have been quite a site for sore eyes by this point. Because, lo and behold, another neighbor happens by the freak show and pulls over. Now we have 2 neighbors with chains and man power, that will get us out of this mess my husband didn't see a comin. So with a good chain, someone to guide, and someone to back up, and me standing in muddy boots with a smile, the car gets tugged out of the mud and rescued! I am just hoping no one was recording us to put on you tube. What a circus. Doesn't he realize by putting these kinds of things off, he is essentially creating MORE work for himself and others?!

This is but one example, and I'm not bashing on him, I'm simply telling a story that I know other women can relate to. I know my husband isn't the only get'r done later guy out there. He is outstanding in many ways, but he comes with quirks. For as planned as he likes things to be, he sure seems to wing it most of the time!

And the show must go on.....

2009-03-11T17:51:00.003-04:00

I just saw a quote from a favorite poet of mine, Robert Frost. "In three words I can sum up life: it goes on".

Indeed it does. The trials of today, will they be important tomorrow? People disappoint us, people upset, anger, hurt and betray us. But if we're lucky, the good outweighs the bad. Other people will love us, enjoy being with us, befriend us, support us....and the list goes on.

Words to live by; should be my mantra right now. IT GOES ON. *sigh of relief* I sure wish by the age of 33 I have gotten a grasp on a few more things by now....like to trust my instincts & listen when I am approaching crazy and my gut tells me to RUUUUUUUN! lol I wish I were better at letting things go too. I can hold a mean grudge. I blame that on my lineage. My mother had a hot temper, she definitely had spunk. I favored my father's temperment most of my life, he is so laid back, easy going and charismatic. Everyone loves him. But as I get older (I hate that term), I think I'm getting angrier. HA! No seriously, people just suck sometimes. But such is life, isn't it? I can't change you anymore than you can change me. THAT is one lesson I've got down pat by now. Oh the years I could've been doing something other than trying to change someone else! Anyway I've gotten off track.

Life goes on. Wait..wasn't that a show back in the 90's? Yes it was!! I loved that show!">

Being a bully means you're a big boob!

2009-03-11T14:27:00.006-04:00

Do you ever wonder how a bully becomes a bully? Where does it start? And why? Haven't most of us run across at least one "punk" in our day? Both my kids, unfortuantely, have had encounters with bullies, as have I. Even sadder, my daughter is only 4. Additionally, bullies aren't just a part of childhood, you can encounter a bully at any age, in any walk of life.

If you've read the previous blog on my Toxic Friendship then you'll also know I have been pushed around a little in my day. Well it's time to put our collective feet down and stamp out the meanies of the world! Why do some people want to push other people around? Is there joy to be found in it? Well maybe, if you need to feel big and bad maybe? Or perhaps you just plain suck? But what I really think it is, usually, is that one person has a deficiency, a void, a weakness, you decide what word you want to descibe it, but that would be the bully. And the other person has what the bully wants. That is what makes the big bad bully huff and puff, and the other party to get blown down. Now maybe my theory is wrong, who knows, but I think we should have a chitty chat about this topic. First I believe a person's temperment plays a role in who will be the bully and who will be the..oh what's the term? The one who takes it, versus the one who dishes it. Usually the bully is terribly miserable and has low self esteem. You would think it would be the exact opposite, but lets think about it. Look at this picture, we'll call it Exhibit A: Now look at the bully. Look at his face, all contorted, sending a very threating unpleasant message all its own. If you're a happy clam, then this isn't going to be what your face ever looks like. And you aren't going and pushing people around, screaming at them over Sticky Bun placement (Oh no I didn't!!), with a look on your face to match your soul. Oh no, that doesn't sound like a happy sorta gal/guy to me, does it to you? No. And if you are the one getting pushed around, chances are, you are less confrontational, and the other party knows it. They find your achilles heal and go it. It's like you have a bullseye on you somewhere. You may be timid, shy, and less social, or you may be fine socially, you just might not be "like" the bully or group that is ganging up on you.

Now here is a great example of what happens or can happen I should say when the person who is picked on has had his or her fill of your BULLSH*T. "> Bullies around the world be forewarned. Things like this happen and usually, when the person getting picked on finally snaps, the bully backs down. The bully is really weak inside, even though they portray a tough exterior. They may be hurting and angry about something completely unrelated to you, but you catch the brunt because they can't take out their frustrations anywhere else. Lucky you.

So how does a bully learn this behavior and when does it start? Well I haven't officially polled anyone, I haven't done scientific research with Harvard or Yale, or spent any of your hard earned tax money following bullies around for 10 years. This is all my personal observation. I think it can start at any time, but certain behaviors begin when they are younger and if not caught in time, this is your recipe for the backyard bully. For instance, they used to say it takes a village to raise a child. Yes it does. When your child gets in trouble at school for instance, its the school's job to discipline them (not physically of course) and then its YOUR job as a parent to further talk to them to explain why this was inappropriate behavior and why they feel the need to hurt others (be it physically or by words, they both hurt and they both constitute bullying). Now if you as a parent don't follow up and teach your child this is wrong behavior, then guess what? Either the child will continue on this path and become a bigger and badder bully or perhaps by dumb luck the child will outgrow this before someone has enough and punches him in the kisser. I think a huge part of the bully starts at home. What do they hear? Are they around yelling and arguing and bad language? Are they around physical fighting? Are YOU setting a good example? Some things to think on......

Like I said, both my kids have had their runs in. My son isn't the jock, he isn't the one who cares a hoot about fitting in (thank God!!), he is a leader, not a follower. He is so different than I was at his age (again, thank you God!), I cared about fitting in, and still struggle with it even at my age! My son is in 7th grade, and has run into his a couple bullies in his day. Now he could easily take them in a physical fight but I've taught him that is the absolute last resort (and only in defense). Maybe that makes him a target? Most boys want to prove their masculinity by talking rough and acting rougher. Again, it's a follower thing. Also I might add, that if your child is keeping company with a bully or little punk, guess waht? Chances are your kid is joining in the fun. And guess what else? Tell your kid to pick better friends! This is the only time when you actuallly have a choice who is in your child's life, including their freinds. I've heard too many friends make excuses on this front, and to that I say PFFFFFT! They'll make others and not get into so much trouble in the process!

As for my daughter, she is only 4 and her experience with bullies is limited to the past several weeks. Is it me or is it a tad early to be dealing with mini thugs yet? oh now, settle down, I know kids'll be kids for crying out loud. What concerns me about her situation is that these boys parents have no regard for this situation. They haven't made them appologize to her nor are they sorry, in fact, the one even in so many words called my daughter a liar. Um okay. If that makes you feel better. However the teacher backed up what Hailey's complaints were, so hmmm guess they'll have to come up with another excuse?

It's too bad that we can't all come together on this. But yet I have hope. Not for THAT situation, but for the bullying in general. No there will always be a bad apple here and there. And these little kids that I referred to aren't bad apples, their parents are just not doing their job to put a stop to it. So who knows what will become of them in the future. I do have hope that little by little we can stamp out bullying!! We're not gonna take this anymore! To all the bullies of the world I say this: you need help!! If you're mommas won't provide it, then go see a school counselor. if you're that angry, chew on rawhide for crying out loud, not my kid's ear! Where is all this anger coming from anyway, at 4?!! And to the saddest of them all, the ADULT bullies I say this: get a life! Worry less about me and more about yourself. Check it before you wreck sista. And now a message to the targets: hang in there. Stand up for yourself, that is the surest way to get these little freaks to back down. We teach people how to treat us, so teach them you're not going to put up with it anymore! Now of course, there are instances where you might not want to stand up, if you fear for your life, that being one. I am speaking in general. If we all come together, meaning home (parents), school and community, we can educate each other, protect our children and help those who need it.

The Downfall of a Toxic Friendship: Sticky Buns

2009-03-10T22:00:00.007-04:00

Do you ever want to throw a fit? Do you ever get tired of being the adult, being the mature one, always being the one to "rise above" matters? If you're being honest, the answer to these is a resounding HELL YES. Well that's where I am at on this day. Lately I find myself wanting...dreaming of...having a nice nervous breakdown. ha! That being said, here's the deal. There are people in your life that will come and go. There are people that come and you wish they'd go and then of course there are those that remain forever.

So lets cover the first. The people that come and go. These people can be co-workers, acquaintances, friends even, anyone really, that is only here to serve a purpose and then to move on. Sort of like angels. They aren't meant or even needed to be a part of your life forever, and you usually part ways in an amicable way.

Now lets review those who you wish would go. You ever get the feeling like you just can't shake a cold? Well there are people we just can't shake sometimes either. Here is where I am currently. I have a "friend" that is no longer a friend, however she is friends with some of my friends, and we share friends of friends. Confused? Basically think of a divorce, only friendship style. Then think of the friends in common as your children. These friends we have in common often find themselves having to pick sides or a select few will remain neutral. This ex friend seems to be popping up everywhere and as much as I try to let it go, forgive and forget, be the bigger person, yada yada yada, I just can't shake the feeling like she is popping up on purpose. But I am getting ahead of myself. First let me tell you what brought our friendship to its knees.

Cinnamon Rolls. Pillsbury to be exact. Yes, you read it right, what? Oh stop giggling. Here is how the Sticky Bun incident went down. We were both in a mom's play group together. She was the "leader", by that I really mean dictator. We'd been friends for maybe 2 years, and along the way, I found myself being treated in ways I did not always deserve. Being taken advantage of, disrespected, used, and talked down to. Now I had come an awful long way in this area; so this is the first person I let have this much leeway in a long time. I valued our friendship and made excuses for her, and even convinced myself that maybe I was being too sensitive or perhaps I deserved a good brow beating from time to time. No no no, that's wrong thinking. That thinking landed me in an abusive marriage for 11 years. So here I am, putting up with the female equivalent of my ex husband? What? All that therapy and this is where I end up? I think not!! So back to the sticky rolls. I was signed up to bring breakfast for our group that Wednesday morning. I had even thought of skipping the group that day, but reconsidered and enlisted my hubby to get up and help make the buns while I got kids and myself ready to go. We went, and I was the first to arrive. So I make 2 trips in and out to carry everything without having an accident (I'm a little clumsy, I know my limits). I begin displaying the rolls with chocolate icing on dessert plates that had various chocolate sayings on them. I was pretty proud of my little set up, and knew the rolls would be a big hit with the mamas! In comes a mom here and there, commenting on the aroma and cute plates. And then comes the Dictator. She meandered over and commented with a sneer "Why are you the only one who insists on putting food at the table?!!" I can not lie. I wanted to punch her. This is not the first time she had talked to me like I was her child in front of others. And who cares where i put the rolls anyway? Then she told me to put them across the room by the coffee like I'm supposed to. Again, I wanted so badly to punch her, but our group happened to meet in a church, although I'm pretty sure God himself would've cheered if I did give into my desires and slap the crap out of her. My eyes burnt with tears, not from hurt feelings but from anger. How dare she?! Is there not a nicer way to ask someone to move their buns? and God forbid say thank you for getting up and making me nice warm buns in the first place! And why oh why oh friggin why MUST she control EVERY minute detail of EVERY DAMN THING?!! I wanted to run out, but I didn't. I sat down, and ate. And ate. Filling all the cracks in my heart with warm ooey gooey cinnamon rolls. I began to settle down when she actually had the gall to bring it back up and inform EVERYONE just in case anyone missed it, what my offense was and to please follow the rules and place your food across the room (so everyone has to get up and interrupt conversations to go get their food). Then group was dismissed, I left and came home raging in tears. This was absolutely enough.

Fast forward (I am skipping a lot of drama because this is getting long) 6 months. I have friends, she has friends, and we have many friends in common. Some friends we have in common she did not give two hoots about until recently when she found out they were hanging with me. And now all of a sudden she calls in tears gaining their sympathy, leaving fake lovey dovey Facebook comments, and so forth. It's enough to make me gag. I also have to see her at my daughter's school, so that's always a joy. And what's more, her son and his friend has started bullying my daughter. This has gone on for a few weeks, to the point that I had to step in and say something. My daughter is only 4!! I hoped we could be mature about it, but bitch is her middle name. I had almost forgot.... so I placed calls to the school and then reluctantly I emailed her to tell her what was going on, and also just as a mom, asking her to talk to her son and tell him he is hurting hailey's feelings, and please stop. Her response to this was basically to call my daughter a liar and then she added, why would you assume I can't be mature? Oh gee, who knows. I never said she couldn't be mature, so for her to end with that....just goes to show. So here's where I am. I can't shake her. She's like a bad sore, a festery pimple, a wart, a nasty phlegmmy cough that won't go away! I don't know how to deal with this in a way that will result in anything positive. All I know is, a friend is not a friend if they make you feel "less than". Friends should lift you up, be your cheerleaders, NOT treat you like you're starring in a bad Lifetime Movie. There is no going back, that is clear. I could never take her back as a friend, I know that now. How she has handled everything, including the bullying of my daughter, cements my decision. With that I say good bye and good luck with that to those who choose to endure the abuse.

Buyer BEWARE of Free Trials!

2009-03-08T15:47:00.010-04:00

By show of hands, who of you out there has ever ordered anything online or from an infomercial. I know I have. Now who of you have ever ordered anything that has promised a risk free trial? Again, me too.

Don't be ashamed, we've all done it and some of us more successfully than others. Those ads and infomercials can be slick, full of empty promises and smooth talkers, and all I can say is, sit back and read on, and keep my story in mind before you give over to impulse/emotional buying. This is a true story about a mom (me) who after two children and quitting smoking, had added a few pounds to her once trim waist line, and came upon an ad online that swept her away like a good romance novel. It began innocently enough last September. I was new to Facebook and if you are familiar at all with Facebook, then you know on the right side of your screen there are ads for Diet & Weight loss miracles, Anti Aging secrets and more. So I took the bait and clicked on an ad that read find out what Oprah and Dr. Oz recommend to lose weight. Curious, I clicked against my better judgement. So what did they recommend? It was a supplement of Acai Berry, supposedly the newest weight loss wonder, in pill form. And what do ya know, it had a "no risk" free trial!! So once again, sucker that I am, I took the bait and began imagining myself in my former size 3 jeans, carpooling the kids with onlookers oooohing and ahhhing wondering if I was their mother or perhaps a sister? Oh okay, I exaggerate. Suffice to say, I took the bait and ordered it and it came with a 14 day trial, so it SEEMED that it was guaranteed to work or I would just cancel it and go on with my life. It arrived and I began my Acai Berry adventure. First of all I wasn't impressed with the taste. It was a melt away tablet that sat on my tongue and tasted bitter and gritty and made me gag, as it didn't melt as fast as I would've liked it to. Second of all, I shed not one pound in 14 days. So before my trial was up, I called the 800 number on the bottle and cancelled. And so imagine my surprise when my credit card statement came and there was an 89.31 charge from this Acai Berry company!! How could this be? So I immediately called them back to correct this, and so would begin an irritating and lengthy ordeal. The first woman I spoke with told me that the one month supply had shipped out before I had cancelled my trial, therefore they had to charge me. I replied (calmly at this point) that first of all, why would they ship it out while it was still on the free trial, and secondly, that being the case, I would just return the bottle as soon as I got it. To this she replied they do not do returns/refunds. Oh really? How convenenient for them. So we exchanged a few more words before I hung up on her. I waited a few days to collect myself, then I called again, determined to make someone correct this. This time they put me on hold. By on hold, I mean, they completely ignored me for 38 minutes. So I hung up, since I do have a life, and a few days later, called back yet again. This time someone answered and I explained what had happened, and that it was all a mistake and that if I ever received what they said they had shipped out, I would return it promptly. She was pleasant and assured me there would be a credit on my next bill. Yay!! Persistance paid off! So I hung up quite satisfied with the outcome, and returned to life as usual. Then, one day, my credit card bill arrived. I opened it, and there was indeed a credit. There was a credit for HALF the amount they billed me for, not the full 89.31. !!!! Ahhhhhh! Are you kidding me? So I decided to call my credit card company since obviously the Acai Berry people were being shady (who woulda figured since both Oprah and Dr. Oz gave such high recommendations huh?). The representative from my Sears Mastercard put in a request to remove this from my statement and assured me it was all taken care of. With a sigh of relief, back to life as usual I go. And my next bill came, and there was indeed a credit. But this time it was for too much. Now I begin having a terrible persistant twitching just under my right eye. Apparently Sears credited the FULL amount instead of what I had told them, which was half. Because remember, the shady Acai people did generously give me half a credit for the product that to this day, I never received but they are billing me for. So now I call Sears back and tell them about the mistake. They were confused, as I rambled on to explain they were only supposed to credit 45., not the full 89. They transfer me twice, and I reexplain myself a total of 3 times before Henry tells me he understands and will take care of this issue. Somehow I come away doubting his sincerity, but cling to hope, as I try to control the twitchy eye problem. So by now we are in the month of November. This adventure began in September. Next statement comes, no change. Then in December they send me a rather curt letter and put the 89.00 back on my statement twice. What? What the? The letter states that they have found this credit to be in error and it will be placed back on my account, which they did, TWICE. By this point I now have a twitchy eye, and a blood pressure problem, and am wrestling with the urge to throw myself on the floor in a screaming kicking tantrum. So here we go again, by now, their number is on my speed dial. I call them, explain, then get transferred, then reexplain, then get tranferred, and so forth and so on. Fast forward to February. Yes Februrary. I am still dealing with trying to get this corrected when I am told that I now need to hand write a letter and fax it in stating why I feel this charge is an error and why it should be removed. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! Okay fine, so now I get out my stationary and hand write a letter stating the exact same things I have now told no less than 25 Sears Mastercard employees via phone. Just one day later I fax it to them and wait. Then for some reason I decide to call them to confirm they have received my letter via fax, and here's where it gets good. After speaking to another 2 representatives and then getting transferred to a manager, the manager comes on and unemotionally states that I did not respond to their request in a timely fashion and the case has expired. Expired??? What? What does that mean? My "case" has expired, as in bad milk? Or as in they just don't want to do their job, and they are tired of dealing with me?? He states there is nothing more I can do but pay. WHAT?!!! Let me add, that up until this incident, I have been a stellar customer, always paid on time, usually paying whatever I charge off each month. I CAN pay this bill. Should I have to? No. It's a fraudulent charge that should have been removed had either company done their job. Both the Acai company and Sears Mastercard have shown a gross neglect in customer service and quite frankly, they're idiots. So to sum it up, I am stuck, I have to pay this now, unless I want to try to jump through other hoops with higher ups, which at this point, I am just exhausted mentally and I have no more faith in the "high ups" than I have in the little dufuses that messed this up in the first place. I can assure you that I will never ever never order another free trial of anything again, and even more, I will NEVER use my Sears Mastercard again!! This has been a terrible and undeserving experience, and all I have been to this point is a loyal customer with an excellent reputation. So I am warning you, beware of free trials, if it sounds to good to be true, it usually is!

I am including the following information as a warning, do with it what you will, just don't say I didn't tell you so if you get scammed!

Extreme Acai Berry Melt Away Tablets 801-208-7485 (there is no other information on the bottle except directions, precautions and nutritional information)

Also, I would be VERY careful if you have a Sears Mastercard. Everything was fine with mine until this charge got placed on there, BUT the important thing to learn is that they did NOT correct it, and ultimately made the situation worse. If you have a Sears Mastercard I would be very careful what you charge to it, as the company will most likely jerk you around for months (if there is an incorrect charge) until your claim/case "expires" and there "is nothing more they can do". Just a warning based on my personal experience!

Where oh where has my baby gone?

2009-03-07T00:44:00.005-05:00

No my "baby" isn't missing. In fact, my "baby", my first born, now stands 5'6 and just celebrated his 13th birthday!! Just to give you a fair warning, today was, in a nutshell, sad. If you are a mother, then chances are you understand exactly where I'm coming from. Wait, let me add, if you are a mother of a TEEN, then you will understand. Most of my friends are not quite to that point yet and probably think I am being overly dramatic and emotional. To those, I say with love, just you wait. There are certain milesstones in your child's life that are bittersweet. Like the day they start kindergarten and you realize, they are old enough to go to school now, and you won't be the only influence teaching and guiding them anymore. They will have teachers and friends and an array of other outsiders that you pray will be good influences on them.

I have been dreading this for almost a year now. In true form, I like to start worrying ahead of time, get a jump start on the actual event that I dread or fear, that way it doesn't sneak up on me and surprise me. HA! It's the end of an era, and the beginning of a whole new one. I put on a happy face, and celebrate, despite part of my heart wrenching. He had a "rockin" birthday,(his words) despite the fact 1. his mother was in mourning, and 2. his step father and I were both sick with terrible colds that had us violently sneezing and under heavy medication (Sudafed and Nyquil rock! Of course not combined). Thankfully he was preoccupied by the magic of turning 13 (and I'm sure the cake and presents didn't hurt either).

I couldn't be more proud or have asked for a better son. These 13 years have been quite a journey, full of ups and downs, learning curves, mistakes, triumphs, laughter and lots of love. Did I mention he had colic? I always have to remind him (and everyone else) of 2 things: first being how long I labored with him and second, how he had colic and the fact that I didn't get a full night's sleep for the first 2years of his life. I feel it my duty to let him know what a trooper I've been. HAHA Of course his (paternal) grandma has to dispute this, doubting the fact that he ever cried at all. God bless her, that's all I have to say on that one. And yes, he cried, I cried, it was hellish but we made it through and I'd do it all over again if I had to. Of course if I did it again, I'd be more demanding of help the second time around. It's amazing how much you come to learn over the years. His biolgoical father was rarely there, and never helpful, so that part I wouldn't do over if you paid me. But we overcame, we conquered, we survived, we got the heck out!

My final point being, smelly socks, shaggy hair, crumbs and spills, and yes, even back talk aside, I know in my heart I am blessed. He is growing into a fine young man, intelligent, with a heart of gold. And my oh my is he a cutie (of course I'm not just saying that, he really is!). Part of me would like to freeze time, maybe not at this age, perhaps 2 or 3 years sooner, and keep him young and adoring and safe for all time. But such is not the case....they grow up with or without my consent. Today was the end of one chapter, the Childhood chapter, and the beginning of new one, with much unchartered territory to be discovered. This chapter will be called The Teenage Years (insert music to the Wonder Years). How I wish my mother were here to see him, and to give advice (of course she'd also get a kick out of some of my plight, saying the curse has worked!! ha!). I have been blessed to have people along the way to lean on, to guide me, and to vent to, and even some who in their zest to love and help, have been smothering and overbearing at times, their intentions were pure enough, so I forgive. Through everyone I have learned, even if it was learning how not to be, at least I learned.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON!! From your funny, witty, loving, Mom xoxoxox

Row row row your boat....

2009-02-12T18:15:00.004-05:00

This is not my week. It all started Monday while I was doing the dishes the old fashioned way (by hand) because my dishwasher has decided to go on strike. My how dependant we become on these modern appliances. I never had a dishwasher until 3 years ago, and now, to do them by hand is downright painful. Anyway, I ran out of hot water half way through. That was strange, because we never run out of hot water. I can be running the dishwasher, doing laundry and have one of the kids in the shower all at once, and still have hot water. Then 3 or 4 hours later I go to hop in the shower and waited.....and waited.....and waited for the water to warm up. No hot water still. So I sent Mr. Fix it to the basement to wave his magic wrench so I could have a nice hot shower after a rather long and stressful Monday. A minute later, he resurfaces with a look of aggravation. He then tells me the basement is under water. I said WHAT?!! Apparently our pump stopped working, and from the 2 feet of snow that melted off all at once, it was just too much for the pump, and it went on strike with the dishwasher, leaving my basement submerged in several inches of water, which of coarse affected the hot water heater, leaving us without hot water. I reluctantly went to the top of the basement steps and peered down, and there it was, a lake in my basement. I've never seen such a sight. We had been in the process of finishing the basement a few months ago, then progress stalled, and as every basement becomes, it was our catch all and storage. So several things that were on the concrete floor were ruined, such as my daughter's baby crib, a nice wood kitchen cabinet, some of my husband's tools, etc. So there my husband went, with camera in hand, pant legs rolled up, looking somewhat like a photographer on National Geographic. There he went into the freezing cold water to survey the damage and record it. And there my heart went as it sank. Some things were spared, whatever I had in totes, but the thought of my daughter's beautiful crib sitting in water getting ruined just made me sick. He got the pump working again and pumped the water out, then began the process of drying it out. Fast forward to today. Today would've been the day we would be able to turn off the fans and dehumidiers and begin the process of clean up. Except for one tiny snaffu. As we began down the steps, there it was, another lake in our basement. Once again our pump failed under the pressure of all the ground water and massive rains we had yesterday and last night. Our system is set up so that all the ground water comes in under the basement and then gets pumped back out. A very backwards logic, whoever decided this was a good idea when building our house was mistaken. And there my daughter is yelling up to me "mommy, the basement's floating again!" At this point I am disheartened. The remedy we think is to install another pump and have it double pumped. The ultimate fix would be to have the pump OUTSIDE of the house, but that will come later, as that will be a costly endeavor. So here we are back to the drawing board, dehumidifiers and fans blazing, hoping this time it has the chance to dry so that we can begin clean up and then my husband can install the new pump. A brook runs through our yard, beautiful as it is, I believe that also contributes to our current plight. The walls are fully sealed, so our only problem is the this indoor well system and the fact that what is outdoors is being brought in, and then being pumped back out. Absolutely ridiculous if you ask me, but what do I know about building a house? I guess if there's a bright side it would be that at least we didn't have the basement fully finished with nice furnishings yet. Still, my baby's crib is ruined and God knows what else. I had to share my pity party tonight, its just been one of those weeks; one of those weeks that a kind word and some water wings are worth their weight in gold.

To Read or Not To Read

2009-02-05T12:48:00.001-05:00

Another older draft I never got around to posting! What was it with me stockpiling posts? Anyway...I wanted to try out my new siggy, so figured I'd post this, enjoy!

Today I was asked what the last book I read in it's entirety was. crickets chirping

There I was staring at the vast collection of books that I've accumulated that have gone unread, half read, skimmed over and so forth. That got me to thinking. I used to LOVE to read. I used to read a lot. Not just novels, but I LOVED poetry. The greats, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Robert Frost, Edgar Allen Poe, Walt Witman, just to name a few. Yes I was once an intellect, but then I had kids. HA! And it's not at all that I dislike reading NOW; if the book REALLY grabs me, then I can easily finish it in a day or two, if all else around me is neglected. HA! I guess it goes back to "busyness" and Mommyhood. I use my down time ("Me time") in different ways, depending on my mood or what I am "into" at the time; such as writing, sometimes reading, scrapbooking or sometimes I just run screaming out of the house and get away for a nice nervous breakdown. My son is a bookworm and so was my Mom. Even when she got to the point that she couldn't see very well, she would get the large print books or books on tape. Her love affair was with reading, mine on the other hand is with chocolate. Of coarse the first of the two is much better for mind and body. I so wish I could get into some of my books, but I lose interest after a time, and then bookmark it, lay it by my bed, and then it gets shuffled to the floor, then to the closet. Another problem I have is the self help books. Oh they're wonderful, they're great, and they make me realize what ~~an utter failure I am~~ areas I need to work on. It's not that I can't take criticism, or helpful advice, but man alive, enough already!! I will never be THAT perfect, so lets be real, k? I have good days and bad days, I have mood swings and PMS, I go on chocolate binges, I struggle with the past, I struggle in the present, I am human!! Don't we allllllllllll have these issues? Okay well some more than others, I'll give you that. One of my friends said about self help books, that all these books make you think of is someone else it could benefit other than yourself! hahaha Okay well that isn't the case for me, but I just found that humorous! For me, I get easily distracted I guess. Once again, the self diagnosis of ADD creeps up. I am pretty sure I have it. But that's a whole other post my friends. I am going to make a concerted effort to dust off those books that are bookmarked at chapter 5, and start them again, with highlighter in hand. As I'm reaching for the book, I'll look down and see a pile of laundry that needs to be addressed. I'll pick up the clothes and walk them to the sorter in the hallway closet. Uh oh, almost out of towels. Then I'll go downstairs to get the mountain of clean towels that's been towering on top of the washer for 3 weeks. Then on my way down, I see a crumb trail. Hailey is nearby. So I get out the vacume and sweep up the graham cracker crumbs. Then while I'm at it I might as well vacume the Family Room. Then the phone rings.....you get my point! This is how my mind and my life work! So this MUST be why the towels are never put away and the books never seem to get read. Anyone else have this problem, or is it just me?

Get up offa that thang!

2009-02-05T07:57:00.001-05:00

I have struggled with how to post this in a comedic way. I don't want to sound preachy, I am far from it. But here are my current gripes. Dear America, stop giant sizing eveything. A large isn't big enough now? We have to overstuff ourselves with extra fries, extra this, extra that...more more more. What was once a large is now a small or medium, and now we are used to ordering "biggie size" or super stomach stuffer, or any number of catch phrases to get you to eat more and spend more money. Also, the electronic hover rounds that are meant for senior citizens at the stores...could we maybe hide those? Not get rid of them, but maybe not make them accessible to just anyone? I am all for assisting and aiding the elderly enjoy a productive life, but these things are not safe. I nearly got run over the other day at Meijer, not by a car, but inside the store, by a hovercraft doing mach 10. I have also been side swiped and bumped with those things; it hurts, and you can't really do anything about it, it wouldn't be kosher to be caught yelling at a Senior. And another thing....I have seen younger people riding around on those. Now unless you have injured legs, why not walk? Have we gotten that sedentary that we must sit n spin while grocery shopping instead of walking through the store like in the good ole days? And last but not least America, stop mass producing such delicious junk food. It's not good for us. Read on for more on that topic. So, are you one of the millions of Americans who have junk in YOUR trunk? And hey, I'm no one to talk, since quitting smoking I've gained ~~a pound or two~~ ten myself. So its time for us to take a stand! Its time to eat better, and get up and move! Oh the thought exhausts you and makes you want to scarf down a bag of Cheetos huh? Well let me create a visual that might thwart your inner junk food junkie. I came upon a few posts about Cheetos a couple weeks ago on Cafemom. It almost gave me nightmares, fortunately I am not addicted to Cheetos, but I am sure they're not the only junk food with surprises inside. Here's what I found:http://www.fox23.com/news/local/story/Couple-Finds-Snake-In-Cheetos There were a couple other posts but I can't locate them because I didn't bookmark them. But ewwwwwwwww oh my God is that not disgusting?!! The other post I had read was of a Mom that upon finishing off a bag of Cheetos, noticed those last few pieces didnt' taste quite right so she spit them out (picture was included) and lo and behold, there were dark/black hairy pieces of something in her bag! The company didn't offer to do anything except examine the contents. I would've been flipping out and going to the news! Anyway.......this post isn't a Cheetos bashfest, its to make you more aware of what you are putting in your mouth. Can we really trust these big companies? I think we all like to turn a blind eye.....until someone bites into a snake or hairy black pieces of ??? Not to mention these junk foods, even without the snake and rat or whatever that was, isn't so great for us. Many are loaded with MSG's, and are just plain empty calories. Again, I am NOT preaching because I am admittedly a junk food junkie myself. I am trying to reform my bad habits and find something that is both pleasing to my pallette and good for me. So first lesson we can learn is no Cheetos OR at the very least, dump the bag out and sort through them before consumption. But really, there are far healthier snacks we could reach for, such as any number of fruits & veggies, or if you want something crunchy and flavorful but still healthy in moderation, try these...they are deeelish! Or these: Next is the main idea of this blog, exercise! It's time we get up, stand up, (which reminds me of Bob Marley so now that tune is humming in my head = great example of my A.D.D.). Whatever way you can get your butt off the couch, do it! What do you enjoy doing that has some physical activity to it? Walking maybe? Since its winter and I am not one to brave the cold to go on walks, I got a set of ankle weights and wear them around the house, to run errands, around the mall, etc. Rent/buy some workout tapes. Get an exercise buddy, try to avoid the over zealous ones unless you know you're gonna be up for it. I had joined a group for weight loss on the internet, but found the leader to be overly zippy and annoying with her constant emails about doing laundry and running laps while running loads of laundry up and down 3 flights of steps. Um, yeah not me, sorry. One email after another about her amazing ideas on how to be active every second of every day. And some of the ideas were plain corny. Such as "Who wants to have a dance party while doing dishes?!!" Um not I. I'm clumsy enough without trying to dance a jig while putting a glass casserole dish away. I am smart enough to avert disaster before it strikes. So my point is, you know you. If you need that level of enthusiasm then girl, go bust a move while flinging the plates into the cupboard. But for me, I'm not always a "people" person, actually scratch that, I am a people person, I just don't do "perky" very well. I like everything a little more low key. So for me, I left the online group and I joined Curves and got a Wii Fit. Both of which are awesome. The Wii Fit is a great way to incorporate exercise into the family in a fun way. And Curves is awesome because its for women only, and they just came out with a Curves Smart that may just kick my butt, if the instructor lady doesn't first. While getting tested for the Curves Smart, I found myself in a position I'd never been in before. It was similar to a boot camp experience. This lady followed me from machine to machine yelling and hollaring and cheering "Go Liz Go Liz you can do it, go FASTER, FASTER FASTER, go hurry Liz, gooooooooo!" I am sure I don't have to tell you that got old fast. I wasn't sure why she felt the need to follow me screaming these things, except that the faster you go while its programming you into the system, the more intense a workout it will give you when its all said and done. I still think I could've managed my way through the workout without the heckling, but hey, whatever. My point is I'm trying and so should you! Find something, anything, it doesn't have to involve investing any money at all. Get together with friends and exercise, borrow their DVD's, rent some from the library, get online and go to Spark People and My Fitness Pal. Just get up off that thang....remember spring isn't far off, which means summer is right around the corner. Are you ready to show some skin? I know for me, the thought of shorts right now makes me cry. But we still have a few more months to bust a move and shed a few pounds for summer. Ready? Get set! Go!

Exclusive!! Frozen Meat Salesmen Exposed!

2009-02-03T20:08:00.002-05:00

I found this post in my "drafts" and got a good chuckle out of it, thought it was both informative, tragic and hilarious all at once. So of coarse I have to share it....sit back and enjoy. NEVER ever NEVER trust a travelling meat salesman. That is the lesson of the day. For those of you who know me, you know this story, and for those of you who don't, sit back and take notes folks, this is an episode of Frozen Meat Truckers: Exposed To this day, the abundance of frozen meat sitting in my freazer haunts me. It started innocently enough, last October/November. We had just bought our new home, and were expecting company over any minute, when the doorbell rings. I sent my husband down, expecting it to be our friends, but instead he shows a stranger into our home, with brochures and boxes of frozen meat. Are you kidding me? you ask... and to that I say, unfortunately, no, this is all true and uncensored. So this gentleman, and I use this term loosely, is trying to give us this once in a lifetime amazing frozen truck meat deal, as I am impatiently wanting him and his frozen meat in a box OUT of my house because we're expecting company and I don't have time for this nonsense. But instead, my husband was dazzled perhaps by the meat, or perhaps by this man's charm. To this day, I'm not sure which got him sold on this truck meat. I tell him no, it's not a good idea, and remind him we have company coming. He brushes me off while he looks dreamily at the mystery cuts of mystery meat laying in it's ~~coffin~~ box. I am beyond irritated at this point. Not just at the complete and utter nonsense of it all, but that this guy showed up at our doorstep to dazzle my husband right at dinner time. That's just low. And my husband loves meat, much more so than I. I will eat a good burger, or a good steak from time to time, but my fancy is chicken. But do you see me buying chicken from a truck? Heck no! Something about a guy in a beat up pick up truck that says the back is a freezer and that these are all "aged" to perfection....something just doesn't seem right about this. But my husband was quite taken and it was obvious we were NOT getting rid of this guy until my husband had his truck meat in hand. So he bought it, and the guy was happy to go. Fast forward a week. I decide to try the truck meat, so I thaw out two mystery steaks, and cook them up with some tasty sides. We sit down to dinner and everyone is chewing...and chewing...and chewing....this steak was so tough one bite'll do ya for hours. It was like meat flavored chewing gum. The hard stale kind though. MMMMMMM tasty. Then I thought perhaps it was MY cooking? Maybe I didn't cook it quite right. So I tried again a few days later, only this time I wanted to marinate the steaks first. But to my dismany, the steaks turned gray upon being exposed to air. Hmmm. Well go figure. Who woulda thought truck meat could be this fickle? So I tried yet again, and once again, not even 24 hours after I had put it in the fridge from the freezer, it turned gray. So I decided to get out my handy brochure that the meat trucker left with me. Oh looky there! A handy 1-800 number to call! And that I did, but the answering machine came on and didn't sound very professional for an "aged frozen meat" business. I left a message anyway, and no one returned my call. Shocker. So I left another....and a week or two later, still another. Then as my last resort, I turned them into the better business bureau, but to no avail, because they wouldn't respond to them either. So now, here we are 8 months later, and every time I go to the store and have to come home and cram and jam things into the freezer, I am faced with great aggravation at all this meat that sits in my freezer that we will never use but for some reason I have not been able to force myself to throw it away. To me, it's like throwing money in the trash. Let my unfortunate meat mishap be a lesson to you all. Never, ever, never ever never trust a frozen meat salesman driving a beat up Ford pick up with an Igloo cooler thrown in the back!! If you see this man, if God forbid he shows up on YOUR doorstep, just to mess with him, go ahead and invite him in, then play along just long enough to make him believe he's going to make yet another mystery meat sale. Then tell him he's been EXPOSED and he's on a Dateline exclusive (or you can subsitute any number of other primetime hidden camera shows), and watch how fast him and his meat mobile make a fast getaway (probably while peeing his pants). SNORT!

Not now, I'm on eBay!

2009-01-31T23:42:00.006-05:00

I've been a little preoccupied lately. Yes that's right, if you can't find me here blogging, or here then I'm definitely going to be here. Why? Well so I'm a late bloomer, so most people have been on eBay for years. Better late than never I always say! I have yearned for something, a "job" or "career" that I could do from home (besides doing the thankless job of raising 2 kids, 3 if you count my husband, and picking up after them day in and day out). I've often thought of eBay but the thought daunted me, I shuddered when I thought of shipping. Yes shipping. How would I? How would I figure out how much to charge? Well folks, for all you scaredy cats, it's not really that hard. So I overcame that, and jumped in. Sure I had a couple auctions that didn't produce the profit I'd hoped for, but I'm learning, and I got great feedback so it was still a win win. I am learning so much about what to sell and where to find my items. Okay get ready for this one! Did you know......that Doritoes are a hot item overseas? And Lucky Charms! Did you also know that gas and heartburn meds are another? Over here in the great and gaseous U.S. of A. Who knew? I am getting to do something I love, which is shop, and I'm earning an income from it! Does it get much better than this?

Paying it Forward

2009-01-29T20:34:00.004-05:00

I am posting this on behalf of a fellow blogger, mom, author, entrepreneur and all around awesome woman. This is her book that she is now offering for FREE! Without further ado...... I am participating in the Good Karma Experiment on Facebook so here is a freebie! Get a free copy of my book, "The Stay at Home Mom's Guide to Successful eBay Selling." So many people are losing their jobs, taking pay cuts, or can’t find work at all. Maybe this will help someone make a few dollars from home and pay some bills. Here is the book on Amazon Get the free recently updated eBook version here (be patient, it takes a minute to open): Please pass this on to others via email, post on your blog, your FB page, MySpace, work at home groups, Twitter, or anywhere else you wish. Keep paying it forward and let's hope this reaches someone who needs it. If you can't get the link to open, send me an email and I will email the eBook to you. If you have purchased this eBook within the last 30 days, contact me and we will make arrangements to compensate you.

2009-01-21T11:49:00.002-05:00

So we have been remodelling our home since we moved in over a year ago. By show of hands, who here has remodelled a house without injuring or considering inflicting bodily harm upon their husband? K, so it's not just me then? Whew. Let me first jump to his defense before I smack him down. First of all he is a perfectionist. Second,he is very knowledgeable. And last but not least he does awesome work, the best, I wouldn't want anyone else working on our home. However, that being said, if I trip over one more piece of drywall, one more tool, or have to move his crap he leaves strewn about one more time, i may have to hurt him. You see, since it's just him working on the remodel, as his schedule allows, our projects came to a standstill a couple months ago. Since then, the anger welling up inside me is about to blow like Mt. St. Helen's. There isn't one floor, heck one room, that is sacred. Not one room is completely finished, and I do believe in my non expert opinion, the man has Attention Deficit Disorder. He starts one thing, that comes to a hault before it's done of coarse, and then whizzes off to another area to destroy, err I mean demo. I am so tired of my house not looking like a home, but more like a construction nightmare. You think I exaggerate? Phfffffft! come on over and feel my pain, walk in my shoes, pull up a piece of drywall and sit a spell, I'd have you over dinner but we'd have to sit in the hallway on lumber piles. (Okay that part IS an exaggeration). Anyway, my point being, if he doesn't wrap up a few of these projects soon, he won't be safe showing his face here much longer. He may do excellent work, but that will only buy me so much patience, and that is worn thin my friends.

I won the Brittish Lottery!!

2009-01-21T09:39:00.006-05:00

Okay are you ready for this? Ya ready? Are you sitting down? Well apparently I have been contacted, not once, but twice in two days, via email of coarse, about winning the Brittish Lottery!!! Oh yeah, that's right, you read it right. Well sure some pessimists and skeptics may sneer and say if this is so legitimate, why would they contact you via email versus sending Ed McMahon to my door? Well I have a very good answer to that one! Because! Ed McMahon is busy DUH! Here is what I found him doing: Yah! So um like he's going to have time out of his busy filming schedule to come deliver my big fat checks to me! So I am so excited, whatever will I do with my newfound wealth? Well first of all, they need some info. Now I am not sure how I can win a Lottery overseas and they not have my info already, but here is what I'm told they need: To file for your claim, fill the winner verification form below and forward to the fudiciary agent immediately via email. VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM 1.Full name: 2.Home Address: 3.Age:4.Sex: 5.Occupation: 6.Phone Number: 7.Country: Agents Name:Smith Stanford Email:claims.director@live.co.uk Phone: +447031947343 Fax: +448704798433 The Validity period of the winnings is for 10 working days hence you are expected to make your claims immediately, any claim not made before this date will be returned to the UK National Lottery as unclaimed, Sincerely, Once again congratulations... Cordially, Sir George Arisson Online Co-ordinator Soooo I'm gonna get right on that! I mean okay some may poo poo this, crying what about identity theft? Oh now come on! Why would the Brittish folk want to be lil ole me? So to put your worries at rest, I will be extra careful when giving Sir Georgie my perosnal information. In fact, he has a phone number, so maybe i'll just give him a jingle and ask him for his personal information and tell him he has won the American Lottery! SNORT! Sidenote: for those who don't know me, no I am not so stupid as to fall for this scam, I am merely making fun of it, and no I will not be giving this fictitious character my identity on a silver platter. The sad thing is.....there may be some out there who would all too easily fall for this. And to them I say, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is! And if you don't recall actually playing or entering to win something, then how would you win something otherwise? Food for thought....til next time.

New Layout?

2009-01-20T22:38:00.007-05:00

Okay since I'm back, I thought I'd change it up with a new layout. I like this one, but it doesn't really fit with the whole theme of "Momma said there'd be days like thise..." What I really need is a layout with cartoon pictures of kids running amock, a Mom pulling her hair out and a Dad staring blankly scratching his head. HA! Until I find one like that, I guess I'll go with this one. There were other very pretty ones, but still, none that really fit. I would LOVE to find one with a vintage retro 50's mom with some sort of funny saying. Here's a couple I have that I love: ......and my personal favorite, this was actually attached to my siggy on another website, this became my mantra after learning the ex husband/deadbeat who owes more than a few dollars in child support to me, was released early from jail, being given credit for serving time on an unrelated drug charge. But hey, who's bitter? No I! So if anyone happens upon a really cool layout, or can make me one, then please let me know. Til then, I leave you with this:

Back in black!

2009-01-20T12:36:00.004-05:00

So I decided to start blogging again. Life got busy so I got away from one of the things I love the most, which is my writing. It also happens to be something I am quite good at. I have not blogged since last summer, dare I even try to catch you up or shall we just go from here? So much has happened in so many months. Friendships or rather, a friendship has come and gone, children are growing before my very eyes, I've grown another year wiser, and older *sigh*, becoming more aware of my health, and less inclined to care what others say or think about me. Life is short ladies and gentlemen, too short to fret over those little irritating things that can eat away at you if you let them, and let me tell you, I sure have some experience in this area. Like a careless gift your Mother in Law got for you for Christmas in January, with a big yellow Clearance sticker proudly displayed on the front of the packaging. Ya think she's trying to send me a message? SNORT! Or someone who was once a friend but is no more, and all the drama that goes along with it. Nope, throw it out, discard the garbage from your lives, it's no good for you and it's an energy waster. There is a reason someone isn't in your life now, and its their loss! So move on, suck it up, get over it and enjoy your life! That shall be my motto for this year, I am going to enjoy my life and be healthy, body, mind and soul. So with that, I will say I'm back baby! And I am reminded of one of the musical greats....so click on this link (embedding was disabled or I'd glady post it) and rock with me to my anthem, Back in Black by AC/DC! www.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPGOEhkCjmI

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!

2008-06-11T16:49:00.005-04:00

So I recently found out (just today) that our local TCBY has waffle cones for a buck every Wednesday. Now folks, I love icecream, especially TCBY's frozen yogurt. Somehow I am under the illusion that even covered in fudge and m&m's, it's healthier for me than plain old icecream. HA! So we are on our way to pick Brandon up at camp, and then off to dinner. Where you ask? To get ice cream you silly goose! Ice cream? What kind of mom feeds their children ice cream for dinner? gasp Well before you call authorities on me, we've done such a thing twice and it went over BIG. It's just a ~~way for me to get out of cooking~~ special treat for the kiddos, and I'm sure I'll throw a veggie their way before bedtime. So don't get your feathers THAT ruffled. It's hot, it's humid, and ask me if I feel like slaving over a hot stove tonight? Or hot microwave, as the case may be! HA! So for tonight, I will be the cool, fun, spontaneous Mom, not the ~~uptight, anal retentive~~ ~~control freak~~ ~~drill sergeant~~ perfectionist Mom. And so it shall be, ice cream for dinner! crowds going wild

Kiss My Grits!

2008-06-09T13:39:00.014-04:00

So go ahead and ask me how the beginning of summer break is going? G'head. Well since you asked, it's going maaaaaavelous darling! I signed Brandon up for summer camp (just day camp) to ~~get him out of my hair~~ keep him active and give him some things to do that we might not otherwise get to as a family this summer. And who knows, maybe he'll make some new friends!

I am far less stressed the last couple days than I was. I tend to get myself in a frenzy going over my to-do lists in my head. Rather than just taking a deep breath and knowing it'll get done when it gets done! If I just had 2 more hands, but then I'd look awful funny wouldn't I? I'm terrible at delegating. I need to work on that, I know it would save me a few nervous breakdowns! And the house was really bugging me, from all the coming and going, it had been neglected for weeks. Oh it wasn't filthy, but it wasn't up to my standards. Can we say OCD anyone?? I have this little voice inside that chants clean, clean, clean when I'm at home. Yes I hear voices, I admit it. HA! It's the voice of Alice mainly, or at least that's who I imagine it to be. HA!

No not THAT Alice!!

THIS ONE! Well I've goofed around long enough. And just in case you may be thinking if she's sooooooooooo busy, why's she blogging, and yes I actually had someone make that remark!!, to that I say, in the words of Florence Jean Castleberry, KISS MY GRITS!!

Underwear is not optional!

2008-06-08T22:20:00.002-04:00

So as I mentioned in an earlier blog, today it was just us girls. I had grand plans of some serious mother daughter bonding. It was sunny and blazing hot out, but we were not to be deterred! So off we went to the park for icecream and a little monkeying around. My first faux paus was to realize I had left the sunscreen in the garage at home. So of course I was feeling like a terrible mom, since my daughter is of the fairest complexion and would easily bake like a rotisserie in the full sun. So I decided we would sit in the shade and eat our sundae together, and then play for a little while and go. It was much too hot to be there for long anyway. As we were sitting and gabbing and gobbling our sundae, my daughter was sprawled in a very lady like pose. I started to tell her to put her legs together, when I noticed her lack of underwear! My first reaction was what the? I said "Hailey! Where'd your underwear go?" She said, with fudge in her mouth, "I dunno". Oh good grief. Then I said, "Did you forget to put them on?" And then she paused for a moment, ate another big dripping spoonful of sundae, and said "no Mommy, I just left them in the drawer". She said this as if it should make perfect sense. So I began to quietly discuss with her that undies are not optional, she must wear them. And she stared at me blankly, with whipped cream on her nose. This leaves me scratching my head and wondering if she's done this before? So now I will insitute the daily panty parade, whereupon before we go out of the house in public, I will stop her for a safety check just to ensure she isn't trying to go commando. HA!

Feel the Burn!

2008-06-08T18:31:00.008-04:00

As the dawn of a new season is here, I dug out my Pilates DVD's and dusted off the cobwebs and am trying to ~~decrease the flabulation~~ tone up. I really like Pilates because it's very doable for me; one might say is in the realm of MY possibility. I currently have 5 Pilates DVD's, and they're mostly the same, some are longer a little more intense than others though. I can handle a 20 minute session, heck even 30. Much more than that and I call it a day. I hate to exercise. Yes go ahead and gasp. Point and laugh if you will. I don't know how to actually like it but I've heard rumors that some people actually do. I do ~~love~~ ~~like~~ tolerate my Windsor Pilates. I like Windsor's workouts the best. You can really feel it working in your legs and abdomen while you're doing the workout, but it's not so painful you want to puke afterwards. Pilates is a great way to strengthen your core, and the good Lord knows my core is a week gushy mess right now. I went to a few kickboxing classes a few years ago, after Hailey was born, and let me tell you, I have never ever never had such a tough workout in all my life. This woman was hardcore, I think borderline masachistic if you ask me. She seemed to like two things: her own pain and to see others experience it with her. Not only was I pouring sweat, but every muscle, even the ones I never knew I had, were sore. THAT my friends, would be why I don't like exercise. I mean really. Life is so short, must we live it in pain all for the sake of fitness? Is fitness supposed to bring tears to your eyes? Is fitness supposed to wake you up screaming with charlie horses in the middle of a good night's sleep? Anyway, back to my point. I wish I had a personal trainer like the stars do. You know, the ones who give birth and are seen in public 2 weeks later just as skinny as they were before pregnancy. They attribute it to personal trainers. So who do you think they have come in and whip them back into shape? Richard Simmons perhaps? Call it ADD, but doesn't this picture remind you of: Okay okay...

How 'bout Tony Little? You know, the Gazelle ~~freak~~ guy?

Or perhaps the scariest of them all.... Her morning workout just about killed me a few years ago. I would get up before anyone else rose, just to catch her morning routine. And also so no one would point and laugh at me as I contorted myself with tears in my eyes, all in the name of beauty. Ack. Needless to say I chucked that and started sleeping in again! HA!

Okay so I wish I may I wish I might, have a personal trainer, tone me up right! Don't we all! Unfortunately the reality is I am in charge of my own fitness. And unfortunatley I have my good days, my motivated days, and I have my ~~lay on the couch and see how many Reese cups I can hog down days~~ not so good days. I think this is true of most. Oh you might not admit it, but you know you have days where you eat anything that isn't tied down or pointy. My weakness is chocolate. Oh the love affair chocolate and I have had! It's so full of dreamy creamy goodness, what's not to like? What you say? That 40 pounds of flubber that comes along with it you say? Oh now, don't be so negative! It's all in moderation. I will have to learn this concept, live this concept, and love this concept. HA! Until then, I bid you goodnight, I have a Big Cup calling my name.

Take me out to the Ballgame!

2008-06-08T11:19:00.003-04:00

Today James and Brandon are off to a Father/Son ballgame in Detroit! Brandon's first official game ever. Yes, that's right, his first ever!

Ferris Bueller's Day off comes to mind now...the baseball game scene. This was as close as I could get:

So while the guys have thier day, the girls are having ours. We are off to get icecream and have some FUN in the sun at the park! Sing it with me now, you know you wanna! Grab those hairbrushes!

Chronicles of a Busy Mom

2008-06-05T20:59:00.006-04:00

Today was busy and hectic and wonderful all at the same time! First of all, we took Hailey for her renal ultrasound, which was supposed to be yesterday but don't even get me started on that one! Anyway, so we took her TODAY and in about an hour all our worries were alleviated. Nothing looked abnormal or obstructed, so they cancelled the slew of other tests they had initially planned, which would've included a cath and dye test. I am sure we would've met that with some resistance. But she did great for the ultrasound, laid perfectly still, watched the screen intently, and ended our visit with a sucker and a smile. Yay!!! So off we went, a few hours earlier than planned, and home I came to call everyone and tell my good news! They had been looking for a condition called kidney reflux, which I Googled and confirmed with the ultrasound tech; it can mean surgery, in severe cases. WHEW thank God it wasn't that! It seems she might just be a little more sususptible to UTI's, so we've motified things like converting from baths to showers, no bubble bath or other irritating soaps, and no juice. Needless to say she is totally bummed about these new rules, but if it will keep her from having a UTI, then I'm all for it.

Then we had Brandon's elementary graduation!! He has never had a "graduation" ceremony before, he's had assemblies but way more of those in Ohio than here. I was actually super excited about this graduation thing. Brandon was giving a speech and accepting awards, so wild horses couldn't have kept me away! We recorded the whole thing and got some really great footage of Brandon and the future class of 2014. Brandon accepted 6 awards all total, gave a wonderful speech, and wrapped things up with cake and icecream at the end!

Then back home to start going over my list of things yet to do. Can we say eeeeek!?! It seems lately I have so much to do but not enough time to do it all in. Ahh if only I had one more of me...but then I just don't think the world is quite ready for that. HA! Really the majority of my busyness lately has been wrapped up in Brandon. And if you don't have an older child, you just don't get it. I have friends who I swear think I am inventing my busyness, or perhaps exaggerating it a bit, but no, sorry to say, I'm not. I have been so stressed trying to fit everything in, keep everyone happy, and I've come to grips FINALLY with the fact that I just can't please everyone all the time. I have to do what I can to keep my sanity! Why am I so stressed? Oh well lets run over the short list of what I still have to do. Enroll Brandon for school next year. Enroll Hailey for preschool. Sign Brandon up for Summer Camps. Make various trips to Post office and store, also Lowe's for Daddy's Day present. Oh crud, mental note, pick up something for MY dad for Father's Day! Go help Gramma sometime this week, in all my spare time. Another Dr.'s appointment for Hailey. My annual "female" visit, unspeakable joy. Mental note: can I get a raincheck please? And lets not forget the house...it's looking a little neglected lately and next week's not going to be much better, so friends, if you stop by unannounced, be forwarned! Now these are just what's off the top of my head, this isn't going by what I actually have in my Day Planner for next week. So then I decided to push my garage sale back a week, since I am going to be short on time to get the rest of my ~~junk~~ items ready. What's the sense in having a garage sale if you can only put 1/2 of what you intend to sell in the darn thing? So yeah, I guess I need to take a chill pill. I think once the next couple weeks are over, I'll be my former mellow self. I am so not the type of person who functions well, or likes to be busy all the time. To have every hour of every day booked. That would be my Hell. I hate to feel rushed. Call me a hippy chic, but I just love to go with the flow man. But such is not the case for now. Oh well, there's always Ohio to look forward to in July!!

Would you like soft sexy feet?

2008-06-04T08:14:00.006-04:00

Okay ladies, gather round, 'cause I just HAVE to give a little plug, a little "shout out" to one of my newest favorite products. It's called the PedEgg. angels singing chorus If you have rough dry spots or even large thick calluses, don't look at me like that, you know your feet are pretty rough after a long hard winter, give the Ped Egg a try. Now before you rush out and get one just on my word alone, I've seen several online with a range of prices from 9.99-19.99. Do not over pay! It looks like if you go to their website they have a buy one/get one special with free foot repair cream! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah Anyway I have tried so many different things on my feet over the years to try to combat and reverse the "tread" or wear if you will and make them smoothe and soft, but NOTHING has worked as well, not even a professional pedicure. And I'm not knocking them, they are wonderfully relaxing, but for a fraction of the cost, you can have your own little pedicure right in your bathroom! It's super easy but I will warn you, it's a little messy. I've seen the commercials, I'm sure you have too: Well most of it's true, except for the part that the "shavings" stay right in the egg. Um not mine. Anyone else out there manage to keep 5 pounds of foot shavings contained in that little egg? No? Anyone? Well anyway, all I do is lay my towel on the floor and off I go to get the smooth sexy feet of my dreams. LOL Actually I don't think anyone but me has noticed the straight up sexiness of my feet since using Ped Egg, not even James, but then again he's not really a foot fetish guy so he rarely takes notice of my feet unless I touch them to his legs at night to warm them up, he loves to be my warming blanket. HA! OHHHHHHHHHHHH! One more thing, this one's a biggie. I always use the Ped Egg right after I shower, when your skin is softened. I don't think it works as well when they're dry. In fact, I've tried it once and couldn't get past the sound it made, like sandpaper against a brick, ack, anyway so word to the wise, just use it right after you've soaked your feet and you'll be fine! Men just don't get how lucky they have it....they go around hairy and rough and that is "manly" and perfectly acceptable. Ladies, if we go around all gnarley then no one wants us around anymore. We shave, we wax, we tweeze, we exfoliate, and the list goes on and on. To our pain, our plight, and our Ped Eggs!

Where one door closes....a window will open to jump out of!

2008-06-03T21:51:00.009-04:00

This week is Brandon's last week of elementary school. sniffle I'm a little sad over this. Okay lets just cut the bull, I'm a lot sad over this. It's like the end of an era. If I'm so sappy over this, can you just imagine when he leaves for college? You know you've seen those commercials where the minute the kid leaves home, the parents are turning their old room into some big thing, like an exercise room or a den or something. Well yeah, not me. Oh now I won't go creepy crazy over it and turn it into a shrine, but geez, let the kid have something to come home to on holidays! lol I seem to be getting ahead of myself here though. This year has been a toughie in parenting, between Brandon entering a strange unchartered age, Mom and Dad searching for a support group, and coming to grips with the "end" of something. The end of him being a kid I guess. He's already past that in looks, he's in a men's shoe size now, and just days ago I noticed he is most definitely taller than me now. As he stood next to me brushing his teeth the other night, the reality hit me. My kid COULD take me if he wanted to now. HA! I had a straight bird's eye view up his nose. This is why it is SO important to teach respect while they're little. If not then, by the time they get bigger than you, it might just be too late! And then I noticed his dark peach fuzz sprouting above his upper lip. I've had these recurring strange dreams lately, where I wake up, shuffle down the stairs, just like any morning, but as I round the corner into the kitchen, there sits Tom Selleck at my breakfast bar, telling me he's hungry, in Brandon's adolescent crackling voice. This is what I expect Brandon to look like when he gets older. lol Hopefully without the mustache. So with my son's rapid changes it's hard for me to keep him frozen in time as my "baby" anymore. He's moving on, with or without me for sure, so I better hang on for the ride! It's sure to be a bumpy one! We have several appearances to make for different end of the year celebrations at Brandon's school this week. Today was one such occasion, it was a class picnic/cookout. I have to say his teacher is a hoot, she has a great sense of humor (uh you'd have to to teach a classroom full of 12 year olds! shudder). So James, Hailey and I all went to celebrate and eat lunch with Brandon and his class. When we first arrived, we went in and waited just outside his classroom. The teacher was trying to get twenty eight 12 year olds to collectively shut up so we could get to the fun. Of course that's a futile effort, but at least she tries. After she finally regains control we all procede outside with a variety of food and the guys all go to do what they do best, fire up the grill. All the kids went different directions and Brandon, after a brief hey to his fam, ran off to play and not be seen associating with us again until we ate lunch. I talked with some of the mothers, we compared notes on our 12 year olds. It was sort of like a little support group meeting right there on the playground. HA! It's like every other mother there had the same question weighing on their mind. What on earth is up with my kid? So we laughed as we huddled together discussing the quirks of all of our kids, and we all breathed a cleansing sigh of relief because apparently, we all have very normal tweens that we will all have to find a way to love through all the arguing, mood swings and belching. Whew, what a relief! It's NOT just mine! Anyway, the food was prepared and what a spread we had! The parents sat back and waited for the kids to load up their plates. And what came next was much like watching wild animals paw and fight for food. There was a long line of 12 year olds that seemed scared the food would run out. Some of them clearly didn't like each other, or at least not for that moment, and picked at each other while moving through the line. The girls were more collected, but the boys were all goofy, gangly and gassy. Oh the loud sounds coming from many made most mothers look on in horror. I am sure we all were under the misconception that our sons were just heathen at home, not at school. But nope, not so. I am happy to report that Brandon held his gas until after he got home. So for that he got a pat on the back. But still, I'm sure he's let them rip with the rest of em before. So we all sat down and ate and had a great time, mothers talking meaningfully, a handful of Dad's talking in a real testosteroney way, and kids laughing and intermittantly running away from the food they fought so hard for to go play a quick round of basketball or tag. All in all it was a great time and a great way to observe their species at play, you know, the Tweenage species!

Once again, it's time to Insta-tan!

2008-06-01T13:04:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I bravely put on a pair of shorts. I hate converting from the safety of sweats and jeans, to the bare nakedness of my shorts. And then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ahhhhhhh! I scared myself! Suffice to say, I could illuminate a room with my pastey white legs! Eeeeek! Well at least they weren't hairy, so there is always that. Some women give up shaving for the winter season, and I honestly don't know how they can stand it. Not I! So today I dug around in the summer tote and found my insta-tan. It comes in a huge pump bottle, which I've been working on for years now. Who needs this much insta-tan? Oh now I know, many of you balk at the idea, but what are my options? I could lay out in the yard and scare the neighborhood, or leave them laughing and pointing in my direction. I could go tanning at a Salon. In my hayday, I loved going tanning. The problem though is that it's not so good for your skin. I don't want to look like Magda from There's Something About Mary in a few years! They actually came up with a term for the die hard tanners. Tanaholics! lol Oh my, if you need an intervention for tanning, then you have a heckuva problem. But I was once well on my way to such a thing. I thought I was pretty hot stuff, with my orange glow and over processed hair. And I wasn't in the minority on this, unfortunately. Since then, I've grown wiser and become more concious of taking care of my skin, which has left me but a pale shell of my former orange self. Until it really warms up around here and I am outside more, I always resort to the self tanners. When used in moderation and rubbed in reeeeeeally good, it can look pretty natural. Oh sure, you can go overboard with this method too, and become an orange streak of sunshine. But that just looks silly. I've tried sprays and lotions alike, and it really doesn't matter which, what matters is that you get it as even as possible and the goal is to give the illusion of a sun kissed look without attracting attention to the streak effect you can get if you are not a seasoned pro at this. So to all my pale pals I say, good luck and God speed with your tanning processes!

I love Genius!

2008-06-01T12:40:00.003-04:00

My son was sitting on the couch reading a book this morning. My daughter climbed up beside him, and this is how the conversation went: Hailey: "Whatca doin Bondin?" Brandon: "Reading" Hailey: "Can I see?" Brandon: "yep" Hailey: "Who is that Bondin?" Brandon: "That's a picture of Jesus" Hailey: "I love Genius, Genius is cool. I wish I could see Genius. I would give Genius a big bear hug!" I am so glad I happened to be tuned in at that moment, as I tend too often to be caught up in the busy-ness of being a Mom, rather than stopping to enjoy these little moments that make my day. It's just another reminder to stop and smell the roses once in awhile! The laundry can wait, it'll always be there, but these moments will not!

How to Mother a Tween for Dummies

2008-05-30T00:13:00.005-04:00

Well I'm on a Reese Cup and Ruffles binder right now. Out went the good ole water and fruit diet, in exchange for my beloved Reese Cups and Ruffles potato chips. Why you ask? Why? Because there is a tweenager in this house that is driving me batty. Where oh where has my child gone? Abducted by aliens? Nope, although sometimes I wonder. No he's right here, but all of a sudden he's changed. My once happy go lucky go with the flow child, has now turned into a sometimes irritable, lazy and must have something to say about EVERYTHING young man. I know he's growing up. I know he's trying to assert a little independance. I've read, I've googled, I've explored...... Oh if only they came with instruction manuals!!! Ahhhhhh! This entire week has been an uphill battle. It's one thing after another, and I am not ashamed to say, I am worn out. waving little white flag I know I know, I need to man up here, this is but the beginning of it all! I have a whole new respect for what my mother must have gone through with me. If only she were still here to talk to! First she would laugh hysterically before offering any sort of comfort or ancient chinese secrets. I remember the curse she placed upon me, I believe I was 13 though at the time. Well that Mother's curse works! I am reaping the rewards as we speak!!! For every unkind argumentative hard way to go that I dished out to my parents.....now I have a mouthy, sometimes downright obnoxious tween in my grill, wanting to protest, correct or debate every thing I say. Ahhhhhhh! I hope to survive and be able to go on and pass down what lessons I learn through this trying time, but if I don't make it out alive....at least I gave it one heckuva try.

The Hundred Acre Woods......

2008-05-30T00:01:00.008-04:00

Our house is surrounded by woods. This is some of what I have the awesome fortune to step outside and see on any given day: I present to you Hootie, the owl that lives in our forest, hootin loud and proud! And then to our suprise, a little ducky lost it's Mommy and showed up at our doorstep!! James got it back on it's way....it reminds me of the Dr. Suess book "Are you my Mother?"

Ask and ye shall receive......

2008-05-27T16:10:00.010-04:00

Today began like any other, as I got my coffee the phone rang and I talked to my best friend on the phone, as we often do just like "old times" when instead of phone chat over coffee, I would just make the 3 minute drive to her house, jammies an all. I began multi-tasking and moved down into the basement to see about sorting and organizing and preparing for my garage sale. Everytime I go down there, I see it. The big monstrosity that someone, some previous owner, thought it would be a good idea to build. It wasn't just a work bench, it was a workbench with a makeshift cabinet/dresser thingy underneath. I've never seen anything like it. It was huge, wasting space and it downright irritated me everytime I went down there. So today I decided it would be gone. My husband got home early, looking bright eyed and energetic, and so I moved in for the sneak attack. "Honey, how much do you love me?" I said while batting my long eyelashes. "What do you want?" he said. "I need a little help" I said, smiling coyly. "With what?" - okay so he's not so clever and wordy as me. He pretty much cuts to the chase. "Well, before you say no, hear me out Buttercup". He looks at me with his classic one eyebrow raised. He has perfected that look. I point him towards the monster and asked him if he could show lil ole me how to disassemble that big beastly giant? pause for laughter He couldn't help but crack a smile, and then much to my surprise, my wiley ways worked, and so the whip was cracked. Off he went to hunt and gather tools. I love to watch him at work, there is something about manual labor that is so romantic and flirtatious, if you will. lol Hey, some women have a thing for guys in uniform. And some love the tooling types. I love the looks he gets on his face as he's intently wrenching or sawing, hammering or crowbarring, fixing or demolishing. And well lets face it, the muscle definition doesn't hurt either. And the know how, oh my, I swear he has been blessed with endless talents! I have never quite seen a guy like him, he is very good at everything he does. I am not just saying that because I think he might read this and earn me brownie points towards that picnic table I've been wanting. HA! No really, he is very smart and always willing to learn more. Now THAT my friends, is a total hottie to me! But somehow I've got off the beaten path here.....I digress, yet again. So at some point, the day carried him away. Or the basement perhaps. Or maybe it was my compliments that motivated him? I don't know. But nonetheless, he demolished the beastly eyesore and then some. See we've been talking about finishing off a room in the basement. He's been planning and mapping (he's a little anal that way) and doing calculations....but I really couldn't envision it happening anytime soon. He's a dreamer of sorts, and on some days, I truly love that about him. On others, I want to squash that like little ant. LOL So the next thing I know I hear loud bangs, a random boom, thump, buzzzzzzzz and so I knew he was getting into something other than taking apart the beast. Perplexed, I go down to check out the ruckus, and find him taking walls down. Yes, that's right, he demoing the walls. They weren't huge, more like partitions really, but it was laid out a little funny and we had discussed the possibility of "opening it up a bit". I knew of the "plan", but again, I didn't think he'd move forward so soon. So my friends, we now have a big honkin pile of rubbish to deal with. I guess be careful what you ask for huh? And still the garage awaits him, but do you think I mentioned that today? Oh no, I asked him to focus on the basement and so he did. And now we've got a heckuva mess to clean up. So maybe tomorrow I will woo him with my compliments into clearing out the garage???? I will seduce him with his favorite steak dinner and flutter my eyelashes while I tell him how wonderful he did on the yard. Or the basement. Or the bathrooms. Or any number of fill in the blanks he's done to our new home. Oh the things that can be accomplished by simply stroking a man's ego. If you haven't tried it, you don't know what harmony you're missing!

Parking Lot Rage

2008-05-26T17:25:00.003-04:00

You've heard of road rage, but there's a new occurance of epidemic proportions sweeping the nation at a Walmart near you. It's called Parking Lot rage. If you haven't heard of it or experienced it, consider yourself lucky. Yesterday was a lovely day, the weather was gorgeous, especially for Michigan, which normally doesn't see summer-like weather until oh, August. lol I enjoyed much of the day outside playing with the kids. After our fun in the sun filled day, I decided what better way to top the day off than to head to Walmart? LOL I had procrastinated this trip as long as I could, but there are just some items I do normally buy there because they're cheaper there than anywhere else. I rarely go to Walmart anymore, it is much too frustrating. But once or twice a month, I bravely go where no man/woman should go - to Walmart. Walmart is very different up here than the one I was used to in Ohio. I am not caught up in a romantic fantasy here, it really IS different. In fact when I go back to Newark, I actually DO like to go back to my old shopping haunt. I recognize people, they recognize me, the greeter is the same happy old guy that I remember when Brandon was just a tot. Oh the memories..... And so, before we moved, my store of choice was actually Walmart. I never feared for my life or that of my children's in their parking lot. However, we moved out of state, but as luck would have it, we're within minutes of a local Walmart. Oh thank God! We can't be too far from civilization if there's a Walmart! At first, I was jubilant at the familiar sight, and made it top priority to learn my way to our local Walmart, even before the local hospital or my son's new school. lol Now I can say that Walmart is no longer what it once was for me. The one that I live by has completely soured my once fine bargain shopping taste buds. I have heard stories of other Walmarts 'round the world, so I am fairly sure the one in Ohio was a rare exception. Lets begin with the parking lot. I've had many a bad experience even before I step foot in their store. Yesterday however, I rearranged my thinking and chanted in my mind "this will be a positive experience, this will be a positive experience". As I pulled into the parking lot first I get nearly side swiped and cut off by someone leaving, doing what seemed to be 80 mph. This is nothing new, people act as if it's a speedway for some reason. So I breathe a sigh of relief that our first near death experience has passed, and we pull in to find our usual good spot. Ahhhh not to be had. But hey, it's warm, we can walk can't we? So not to be deterred, I go very slowly up and down a couple isles, until I hit a road block. Why oh why do people leaving the store have to walk directly in the middle of the parking aisles? Why? So we come to a hault and wait and wait for several people and their brood to pass, and then round another corner to have what looks to be a whole family reunion look directly at us, and then procede to walk, as if daring us to run them over. Not only that, but they walk as slooooooooooooowly as possible, with smirks on their faces, as if to say "go ahead, run us over, I'll sue". Oh if only I had been PMSing....they might learn not to tempt fate in such a way! HA! I always look both ways, and taught my kids to do the same, didn't we all learn that in kindergarten? Well maybe some parents and schools skipped that lesson. The Clampetts, all 32 of them, finally all made it across and we finally get a spot and make our way into the store. I have my list in my head and try to make my way through there in record time, but I have my kids with me. We go over the rules, as we always do: me: "Look but don't touch, got it?" kids: silent pause, spacey looks in eyes, then "Mom, can we get icecream?" me: "No' Hailey: "Mom, I'm huuuuuuuuuuuuuungry" me: "we'll be eating dinner soon" Brandon: "Can we get corn on the cob?" me: "we'll see" Hailey: "Mom, my butt hurts" me: "Hailey, behave yourself" Brandon: "why's Hailey's butt hurt?" me: "Be quiet" Hailey: "can I get outta da cart?" me: twitch twitch twitch and so forth and so on We dash through the store like we're on Supermarket Sweep and make it up to the checkouts. We wait in line, and finally get to the belt to load our fruits and veggies and charcoal and pay the cashier. And here we go..... Me: "Uh, what did those grapes ring up?" Cashier: blinks and keeps ringing Me: pause....wait for response....."excuse me, but what did those grapes ring up?" Cashier: heavy sigh, "I don't know, let me check" Cashier: $3.79 Me: "Was that the total? or price per pound? They were on sale for .99/lb" Cashier: "I'll have to call Management on this" She keeps ringing while we're waiting for the big cheese to arrive, and then I notice something else rings up wrong. I interject and tell her to put that on the list to discuss with management. And then a third error.....now before you go poo-pooing me, I'd like to say that I do not get great joy or pleasure from correcting these errors. I feel rather stupid for holding the line up, however, if something says 1.50, then it better not charge me 3.02. So the manager comes over, he is an awkward short skinny fellow with what looks to be a bit too much V05 hair product going on in his 'do. He slips his key in the register, types in some very secret and official code, and tells her to call each department and verify the prices before she does an adjustment. Meanwhile there's an angry mob forming behind me. So I tell her to just put these items back if it will take much longer, but she insists on paging departments to call her......so one lady behind me moves out of line muttering something, I'm sure something unflattering about me, and moves to the next line. Finally we get it all figured out and as it turns out, I wasn't lying about the pricing after all! I love it when they need to "verify", because if I were going to lie and try to make a profit, I'd at least go for a bigger profit than .50. Oh well, anyway, we get our bags and our receipt and we're in the homestretch. We go out the doors and I huddle the kids close to me, and we scan the lot. There are cars whizzing by after they make it over the tallest speedbumps I have ever almost lost an undercarriage to. However strange these mammoth speedbumps seemed to me at first, now they make perfect sense at the Walmart Internation Speedway. So we wait until the cars are done ramping the bumps, and we cross, then I begin doing a run/skip/jog to the car, because we've almost been hit twice now in this parking lot. I'm happy to report, yet another trip to Walmart and we made it home alive!

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now...

2008-05-25T20:24:00.005-04:00

Dieting and public restrooms. Now how can those possibly coincide? Well they don't. That's just it. I've been trying to "diet" so to speak, nothing drastic, just more water and fruit and all that jazz. I have to say, if you drink the water the experts recommend, you gotta go......and go........and go. The story of my life lately can be told in the restroom. Ugh. And if you go out of the house, you're at the mercy of the dreaded public restroom. I gotta say, I have a small phobia of these places. Everytime I open the door to a public facility, I hear the Jaws theme song playing faintly in the distance. I mean I know there's a lot of "traffic" in and out of these places every day, but really, couldn't they send in the forces more than once a week to mop, sanitize, unclog toilets and the like? There is nothing worse than having to pee so bad and having all the stalls full except that one that got clogged a month ago and has flies swarming around it. So you stand there doing the pee pee dance, hearing that stupid commerical "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now....." play in your head. Ahhhhhhh! So you stand there and cough, so that the ladies in the other stalls will know you're there waiting. As if your tap dancing hadn't alerted them. Then you let out a heavy SIGHHHHHHH, as to impart the urgency. Let's get a move on ladies!! Come on! And then finally, one opens up and you about knock the poor soul down to get in there and do a very precise squat/hover over the germ infested toilet. Ahhhhhhhhhh yes, there we go. Whew. Now that spells relief. And don't you love their toilet paper? You have to take the whole roll and wad it up, because it is the thinnest most non absorbent paper substance they could come up with. This might be why the toilets clog so frequently. Ladies need Cottonelle people! We're not built with the equipment that you can just hang, shake and go. And now it's time to flush. So you lift your foot up while propping yourself with your elbow against the side of the stall so you won't fall in. You push the lever and a violent WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH lets you know that it's time to go. Then you go to wash your hands, in this God forsaken "sink" that no water comes out of. But you didn't figure that out until you pushed the sudser and got your hands nice and gooey. So now you move over to the next sink praying it works. And with a lot of enginuity and upper arm strength, you push and pry the lever until it spits out a trickle of water. Just enough to lather with. Now you have a nice lather going, but can't get sink #2 to work. And as luck would have it, there is no sink #3. Hmmmmm. Meanwhile other ladies are moving in and out, with the same frustration, and some not even trying. Can we all make a collective GAG? Oh Lord. Now I not only have to think about my own hands, but those of whom just vacated without proper hand washing techniques. Okay, so I struggle to put that out of my mind and not go into violent shudders, while moving back to sink #1. Sink #1 is not cooperating so I have no other option but to towel dry the lather off my hands so that I can move on with my life. Normally when I am not gulping down my daily recommended dosage of H2O, I can go about my outtings without such plight. However, this is my story, my plight, and my phobia, as it stand right now.

The Big Debut

2008-05-24T23:43:00.015-04:00

Yesterday I made my annual yardsaling debut. I LOVE yard sales, garage sales, flea markets, you name it, I love it. You know the saying...your trash may be someone else's treasure. It's the most cost effective way to get your shopping fix on while also buying things you may need for home, kids, sports, etc. I mean really, it makes perfect sense to me. So normally my strategy is, if I hit the mother load, so as not to freak my husband out at the mass quantities of other people's ~~junk~~ stuff that I have purchased, I stow it away in the trunk and sift it in little by little when he's not looking. hehe Hey, don't roll your eyes, you know you do it, and if you don't, then you should try it and save some of the banter that goes like this: Husband: "Honey, do we REALLY need that?" Me: "Why yes schnookems, we DO need a set of 1970's tupperware, the mustard yellow brings back such fond memories" or Husband: "Honey, why is a bike tied to the hood of the car?" Me: "Well honeycakes, you see I found one dirt cheap at a yard sale today, thought we could use a spare with rising gas prices and all." or Husband:"Why did you get another printer, we already have one". Me: "Well shmoopie whoopie, it was only $5.00 and it's only been used once, so I figured why not have two so I don't have to run clear downstairs and mess with your irritating tempermental printer that NEVER works for anyone but you, sweetie pie". And here is the $5.00 printer... So you see, there IS a method to my madness here. I try to ~~be sneaky~~ avoid that unnecessary ~~interrogation~~ banter and slowly but surely ~~hide~~ find places and uses for all of my newfound treasures. Much like how a small child, when asked to clean his room, will tell you they're done in record time. And at first glance it looks great, until you peak under a bed or open an armoire, and get smacked in the head with an avalanche of Star Wars action figures. I blame it on my kids for teaching me such devious tactics. What's funny is, my husband will once in a while take notice of something, at random, that I've actually had for quite sometime. He'll get a puzzled look on his face, like he's thinking "Heyyyyy, wait a minute here....". Yeah he's pretty fast on the uptake. He'll ask me "uh honey, where did that disco ball come from?" "Oh hon, I've had that for awhile, you're just now noticing?" LOL Ohhhh okay okay, so I made that up, but it's half true. He WILL notice things, it just takes him a minute. Anyway, to the beginning of a new and wonderous yardsale season, and to the endless opportunities to buy things we need and sometimes we don't, at a fraction of the cost! Every summer I have my garage sale as well, at least that is the plan. I give myself "rules" about the mass piles of junk I can accumulate. You see, for every ~~load of crap~~ bag of goodies I bring in, something must go out. I must purge, otherwise we'd be bursting at the seams here, and then I'd have to have an intervention. I could see it all now. Friends and family gathered 'round, looking solemn with lone tears rolling down their cheeks. And I walk in, unsuspecting of course, high from my latest binge on yardsales, dragging a tote of barbies and a basket of oven mitts along for the ride. I look strung out, sweaty, hair pulled back, cotton mouth, and then I look up. And there is the "specialist". He would stand up and offer his hand and tell me "your family loves you Elizabeth, they want you back...they feel they're losing you in all these piles..." hehehee Okay well that's a stretch, but I have actually known a couple people who probably could've used a good intervention. no, for real Anyway back to business here. So I am having a garage sale myself soon, well hopefully it will be a "garage" sale and not a sunporch or deck sale. This would depend upon my husband and how readily he rids the garage of his ~~mass quantities of construction crap~~ stuff. Just a few short weeks ago, a dear friend of mine offered her time to come and lend a hand and totally gut the garage. yes it was gleaming by the time we were done, organized, beautiful! And then just days later, my husband saw this as his opportunity to stuff more towering piles in there. I will give you a glimpse of my predicament: This is why I can't park in there, have never parked in there, and am wondering if I will EVER park in there, let alone host my big garage sale???? I suspect he will clear it out, but he will procrastinate until the night before and be up all hours dragging in insulation and drywall, shuffling piles from garage to family room. I've already ~~threatened him~~ asked him not to pile any family space we are currently using. But really, where oh where would he put 45 bundles of insulation? Oh you mean where it's supposed to go? In the attic you say? Oh heck no, God forbid he ask a friend to help him and knock that off the to-do list HA! I think he rather likes his piles, I think it makes him feel all warm and gooey inside, much like chocolate or a good Lifetime Movie does for me. He can be a bit of a pack rat, in case the picture above doesn't illustrate that clearly enough, let me invite you for a short visit inside the mind of my husband. You open a box, go ahead, any box. big or small. What have we here? In one hand I hold a dilapidated wallet he's been hanging onto since 9th grade. I kid you not people! And in the other hand we have 12 old door hinges masking taped together. Why? Why are we saving these? Well HELLO! Just in case all of our door hinges spontaneously combust and need replaced? And the wallet, who knows when that could come in handy! maybe, if Brandon is real lucky, he'll pass it on to him! Okay aside from the sarcastic spin, I ain't makin this stuff up! The difference between our piles? I don't stare at the same piles for months on end and get the same glee as he, oh no, that's not how I roll. At least there is a fair turn around with my piles, and my piles are better concealed. I can't wait for his man cave, den, whatever you want to call it, to be done so I can start shovin his beloved piles on in there. He is lucky he's so darn loved and pretty handy to have around, or I'd roll him in the insulation and store both in the shed!

Gimme back my spoons and I'll hand over the forks

2008-05-23T21:27:00.006-04:00

I have been noticing a strange occurance in the Storey household. We seem to have a shortage of spoons and an influx of mismatched forks. What is this about? First of all, our forks used to match, so where are these other forks coming from? Are my kids pilfering forks from neighbors, restaurants or other places? Well school can be ruled out, plastic sporks are their utensil of choice. Still I am left puzzled. We are overrun with forks and the spoons are dwindling. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to get a spoon for coffee and poof, gone. Yes that's right. Poof gone. lol That means I open the drawer and there isn't a spoon in sight. Could it be that wherever the lost socks go, they are also now capturing my spoons?

Me a writer?

2008-05-23T19:08:00.004-04:00

So I've been told by the masses I should write a book. By masses, I mean friends, relatives and teachers. So they're kinda biased, but hey, my ego will take what it can get. I think the first time I remember writing and enjoying it was in 7th grade. I wrote poems endlessly, but they were rather angsty and depressing at the time, as my poor 13 year old heart had had it's first wound. I remember being in 7th grade Algebra and my teacher, a happy plump white haired lady, had confiscated a love note I was working diligently on to my then one true love. HA! After reading it and berating me for not focusing my energies on more important matters such as quadratic equations and square roots, she gave me a compliment. She told me I was good at writing. Hmmm really? I can't for the life of me remember what that note said, but it must've been quite something. Then later, in high school, I took creative writing and while others balked at our assignments and poo-pooed writing about "The most significant person in my life has been..." or "A Major Life changing event would be...", I relished these easy assignments and would often have them done in 30 minutes or less. And not sloppily or with details left out. Then I wrote a poem for my Dad one year for Father's Day. I had no money to get him a gift, so I gave him the only thing I could think of, something from my heart. And he still carries it in his wallet to this day. And then in college, I had to take a writing class and my teacher came up to me after class and told me how my writing had moved her asked me what my major was in? I told her and she said, "if that doesn't pan out, you should definitely become a writer". I never really gave it much thought after that. And so here we are many years later, and here I am, still pecking away at it. I would love to become a writer, but where oh where to start? I would love for my ramblings to read by the masses. To have induced laughter and joy by the millions. But hmmmmm what to write about, what to write about....... well lets see, there's my perfection and expertise in parenting. hehe There's my life story, but oh my, that would be a little depressing until around chapter 19. Buy bulk supplies of Kleenex for that one. HA! Of course I could also write a manuscript for a Lifetime Movie of the Week. What would it be called? Cease and Desist....a Mother's Tale. Or One Huckuva Desperate Housewife; A tale of one Manic Mom and her quest to conquer a neverending laundry pile, softening hands while I do dishes, keeping bottoms dry while teaching son to put lids down or build outhouse and to find all the missing spoons, wherever they may roam. Hmm maybe too wordy? Okay well maybe this: a self help book! Loving Husbands through the good, the bad and rennovations. Well okay maybe not. How about: DramaTweens: How to Love your Tween, even through random bouts of obnoxious behavior. Okay one more: WhineyTown: Where Toddlers can be themselves. Okay so I have my work cut out for me. Stay tuned, who knows what else I'll come up with!

A Day in the Life of a Dental Patient

2008-05-19T21:47:00.004-04:00

So I had my big appointment today. As odd as this may sound, I haven't been to the dentist for a cleaning since I lived in Ohio. I had not established any doctors up in my new homeland until now. I figured I might as well go all out, since I now am proud to say I have a Michigan Driver's license! It's official! So I made myself a couple appointments for things I'd been procrastinating on, and one was of course the teeth cleaning. Today they called me first thing and told me there had been a cancellation and I could be seen today at 3:45. So I took it, and bravely went in to establish good dental health. I walk in and it's a very small office, from the outside it almost looks like a house, so this made me a teensy bit nervous, I wasn't sure if I was going to some back alley dentist or what. But I found him to be quite legit, and so began the process of xraying and cleaning my teeth. They did a wonderful job and the staff was the most friendly dental folks I've ever met. So do you want the good news or the not so good news? Hmmmmm? Okay good first. The good news is two fold. One is that my xrays came back with no new cavities. Yay I've been a brushin fool and it's paid off! The other good news is that the price was lower than what they'd quoted me over the phone! Double yay! The not so good news is...... I have a very small mouth that is very over crowded. I have an impacted wisdom tooth that will need removed :( Booooooooo! And then there's the more costly news. I need braces. No I mean I NEED braces. See I should have had braces when I was little, I've always hated my teeth because some are in front of others and my smile just looks like one hot mess. Well my parents could never afford this, they were doing good to cover the basics, and braces wasn't on that list. So being that my teeth are so crowded and therefore hard to clean and floss in some spots, it's a matter of dental health at this point. I either get this taken care of NOW and suffer with metal mouth at 32, OR in the next 10 or so years, I will need some removed, temporaries put in, and eventually, falsies. The idea of that horrifies me. I have a small mouth and falsies, even properly fitted ones, would still be quite distinct in my mouth and change the whole shape of my pretty petite pucker. So they referred me to an orthodontist. Oh my. How will I break this to James? So as I leave the dentists, the load me down with toothbrushes (and oh you'll just LOVE this! Since my pucker is petite, they gave me a toddler Power Rangers brush!! That one's to reach the back teeth, and they gave me a youth brush to do the rest, and plenty of Sensodyne and flossing tape). So there I am, arms loaded with dental supplies and pamphlets about my new Orthodontist. I drive home, wondering all the way home if I should just wait or go for it, how to bring it up to James (because this is a very big expense AND he's already done so much for me and for our family....my stomach was in knots). So I get home and go looking for him, still struggling to hold a bulk supply of toddler brushes and dental tape, when I hear a chain saw. Hmmmm that's interesting. Then as I walk through the garage, there it is. He chopped down a tree. Yes you read right. He chopped down a huge tree in our backyard. Now before you gasp, he's done this before, but never in our yard, so I wasn't as shocked, I knew he knew HOW to cut a tree down, but just didn't quite know this was on his to-do list today. We'd been talking about getting rid of some of the trees closer to the house for safety reasons, ant reasons and to let more light into the house. So there ya have it folks, there was my husband, the lumberjack, in full lumberjack gear, safety glasses, weilding a chain saw cutting up branches. This was the tree I most hated, because it had, of all things, a street light wired into it. Yes, you also read THAT right. The previous owners, or the owners before them, or some random ninny, decided it would be a great idea to get a huge honkin street light and wire it up the tree. You can imagine how pretty that looked. And my how functional too! So I was rather glad that he chopped that sucker down. I was kind of amused at the whole scene, walking up on it. But I digress. So I waved and flapped my floss around until it caught his eye and he shut off the chain saw. He came over, we chit chatted about dinner, but I did not tell him just yet what the dentist recommended. Why was I so afraid? What would he do say "NOOOOOOO! Absolutely under no circumstances are you getting braces! I want my wife to have dentures and look like Mr. Ed!" So I came inside and put away my dental paraphenalia and loved on my Hailey while she admired my brighter smile. She said "Mommy you're teeth are pretty!" Awwwwwww. So later, not much but a little, i went out to bother him again. I made him sit down and told him exactly what the Dentist said, and told him if we couldn't, or if we need to wait, that would be fine too. He said, exactly, word for word, "Do whatever you need, this is your health honey". Awwwwwwwwwwww. Two ooey gooey gushy moments back to back. First of all, I had wanted braces desperately growing up but, as I stated before, it just wasn't in the cards. I just gave up on that dream, because now I'm in my 30's and we have bigger and more important things to spend money on, like our kids teeth! So I explained that the Ortho will let us do payments, and again, he told me to go for it. So a part of me is excited about the prospect of having that smile I've always dreamed of. And a part of is nervous about the discomfort and length of time they will need to be on. The dentist thinks 2-3 years. My son will be in highschool, and there will be metal mouth (that's me) in the stands cheering for him, at least he'll be able to see me, as the light reflects off of the shiney metal protruding from my mouth. But hey, who knows, maybe my son and I will have braces together. People mistake us for brother and sister frequently anyways. We can mess with them and say we're twins. LOL I am just so thankful. I never thought my smile would get better. My family (mother, father, siblings) all had poor dental health, so growing up, I just figured this would be my fate someday too. But not so! Although I am nervous about this sudden change, I am excited too. Not only will it ensure good dental health and longevity for my pretty pucker, BUT I will one day have straight even teeth. To those of you without a crooked tooth in your head, you may read this and think I'm a loon. And that's okay, just thank you're lucky stars you were born with a bigger mouth and straighter teeth. Because never having that has deeply effected my self confidence and esteem. But no more poor me's, because when it's all said and done, you'll never get me to stop smiling! My new hero......Joan Cusack

Doctors and Dentists, Oh My!

2008-05-19T10:22:00.004-04:00

So yeah I haven't really been on much lately, I figured I would just write a few updates, in no particular order. First of all Hailey had to go to the Dr. and the Dr. freaked me out! I thought we would go in, get an antibiotic and be on our way to the pharmacy. No such luck. This particular Dr. is not one we usually see, and from what I hear, she loves to offer the worst case scenarios to parents up front. But I have to say, she successfully scared me last Friday. She wanted lab tests, other tests, and an ultrasound done, depending on what the results say from her urine sample. I was supposed to receive a call today but of course they love to keep you in suspense, that's what they get the big bucks for right? So I called in and the lady I spoke with didn't seem to have any information but is going to talk to our regular Dr. (yay!) and I am supposed to call back in 30 minutes. I am thinking positive thoughts that all is well and that our regular Dr. will have good news when I make the next call! Next is that I have a dentist appointment today. It wasn't supposed to be until June 4th but they called because they had a cancellation. Lucky me. Yay. I really dislike going to the dentist but it is a necessary evil I suppose. I am reminded of this dose of humor from Bill Cosby about dental visits: I will have more to post soon, I've written several blogs but my ADD kicked in before I had the chance to finish them, so you'll be bombarded with some serious entertainment soon!

Can someone get Mommy a booster seat please?

2008-05-16T14:27:00.005-04:00

So my daughter had to go to the Doctor yesterday. There in the waiting room I see the new child booster seat law posted. Here is what it states: All children in a motor vehicle, under the age of eight and shorter than 4 feet 9 inches tall, to be securely fastened in a child safety seat. The law takes effect July 1, 2008. So then technically I am only 2 inches too tall to be legally bound in a booster seat!!!! HA! My son pokes fun at my height, reminding me I am only 1 inch taller than the tallest midget. He stands head to head with me now, if not an inch or so taller, and has much bigger feet than me (my shoe size is a 5 1/2 so it's not hard to beat). Amazingly enough, I've never felt awkward for my size. I rather enjoy being short. Oh there are times when I wish I was leggy, but most of the time the short stature suits me just fine. Call me lazy, but it gives me an excuse to delegate a lot of chores. "oh Honey, can you come pull the casserole dish down for me dear". "Oh honey, while you're up, can you carry the 17 baskets of laundry upstairs for me sweetie pie honey lovins?" See how that can come in handy? And if you've ever seen Little People Big World, the episode where the mother is at the store and she has to climb the shelving to reach the Doritos? I am not ashamed to say, if Brandon or James is not with me, I climb those shelves like Mount Everest! This world wasn't made for the vertically challenged, BUT if you're determined enough, and motivated by Doritos just out of reach, then NOTHING my friend is out of reach!

Twas the day after Mother's Day......

2008-05-11T20:51:00.000-04:00

when to my surprise, the mail arrived with a card from my Dad, playing the song "My Girl" in it. So after I mopped up the tears, I called him and thanked him and not to be outdone, will be sending him a "care package" with some pictures and a couple sweet treats in it tomorrow. After losing my Mom, this seemingly small gesture of sending me a card on Mother's Day has become of HUGE importance to me and I am so grateful for him. This song will forever hold a special place in my heart.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltRwmgYEUr8

Take my hand and come out of the closet

2008-05-08T22:05:00.001-04:00

Well Brandon is due home tomorrow morning from a fun and active week at 6th grade camp. His grandma asked me several times this week if I missed him, which I found humorous, almost like she doubts my sincerity when I say "uh, sure I do". But of course I missed him, he is most definitely the life of the party here at the Storey household! He has a big personality, and even bigger dreams. And even though sometimes his argumentative nature can wear a Mom down, yes I DID miss him. But for some reason, I am reminded of a different time and be patient while I explain. Let me take a trip down memory lane......you see when he was born, I was a young and clueless mother, who believed that babies ate, pooped and slept. At no point in time did ANYONE including my own mother warn me, that perhaps there would be ear piercing blood curdling crying. So I brought my new little bundle home and my heart never knew such love as this! I was bursting with joy and emotion. And then, 2 weeks later, he began to cry. And by cry, I mean you could hear him out on the street, shrieking cries. You see, out of the blue, he developed colic. Let's look up colic and see what exactly that means, especially to those of you with quiet (well is there really such a thing?) babies: Definition of Colic: Colic consists of recurrent paroxysms of apparent abdominal pain starting at about the second to the sixth week of life and usually ending by four months. These cycles last from three hours a day to 12 to 15 hours a day in severe cases. The child becomes hypertonic, sometimes alternating body posture from contracting into a little ball (thighs flexed up against the abdomen and arms drawn tightly inward), while beet red in coloration, to suddenly stretching out and stiffening almost spastically. Description of Colic: Infants cry, it is their means of vocal expression. There is, however, a group of infants who are healthy but show irritability, crying, and signs of discomfort to a greater extent than others. These infants have colic. This is a common problem arising in the first three months. Babies with colic are prone to lengthy bouts of crying which may or may not stop when the baby is picked up. The definition and description really doesn't do it justice. You really have to be there, experience it to really grasp what a nightmare it can be. Now just humor me here. I am sure you have no idea where I'm going with this. His grandma would take him on occasion for his 1-2 hours of happy time out of the 20+ hours of side splitting window shattering crying he would do. After she left with him, I would do whatever needed done around the house (I know this sounds crazy, but for the people who know about my ex husband, nuff said) and then I would lay down for a much needed ~~coma~~ ~~hibernation~~ nap. As soon as I passed out, the phone would ring, and it would always be my mother in law asking the same haunting question. "Do you miss your little punkin?" Which brings me back to the beginning. Remember now, this has been the question of the week. Now how do I respond to that? Truthfully? Um no. Because the truth would sound cold and make me look like the worst mom on earth. I was already on the verge of tears from the constant incessant crying, coupled with the lack of sleep, but add in a label of cold hearted mother and that might've just sent me over the edge. But honestly, no I did not miss him. I was so exhausted, often going 2 days straight with no sleep at all, that when I did get a little break from the constant crying and projectile pukefests (he had some digestive issues), that uh no, I rather enjoyed my brief siestas. Now this is not to say I didn't love him! But oh if you only knew....the odds were stacked against me from the get go. Now I don't go into this to gain sympathy because well c'mon, lets face it, he's way past the colicky stage now. I survived it and I am proud of it! I did it alone and I came out alive! But whether the kids are colicky or not, whether they're 2 weeks, 2 years or 12, don't we all love a break from time to time?! I know mothers who almost go into depression over being away from the children overnight. Now I just can't grasp that. Not only does it make ME look bad for actually enjoying the occasional break, but what did these people do BEFORE kids? Don't they enjoy having adult time, time with your spouse, time out with the girls...or even time alone with a good book and some Ben and Jerry's? Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I am in the minority on this. I think there's a whole lot of Moms in the closet on this one. Perhaps you are afraid of seeming unloving and uncaring if you admit it, but I am here to say lets stand united and sing Hallelujah for occasional "breaks" we can get! I challenge you to enjoy a stolen night away from the kids, just you and your husband, go have fun (remember? that thing you used to have together before the kids came along and started pecky away your sanity? ha!). Now this is all meant in fun, but isn't there but an air of truth to it? I love my children and I don't know what I'd do without them...but call me selfish, call me stressed, call me crazy, heck call me Conchita if you want, but I CAN however manage to occupy myself for an hour or a day while they're away, and even like it!

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

2008-05-07T15:05:00.000-04:00

So after sending my daughter off to take her nap, and thinking she had complied...this is what I find standing so sweetly atop the stairs: She was playing dress up quietly in her room!! How could I ever get mad at that? Then Dad stepped in and took control:

Quite the disciplinarian huh?

It's not about football! It's about the license bureau!

2008-05-07T14:23:00.000-04:00

Well today was the day...I went to the License Bureau AGAIN in hopes of gaining a legal Michigan driver's license. So how did it go? Well, lets see. You want the good, the bad or the ugly? The good is that in about 7-14 days I should be legal with driver's license in hand to drive in the state of Michigan. The bad? I'm not legal to drive anywhere right now! Ahhhhhhhh! They cut and punched a hole in my old Ohio license. Now really. Was that even necessary? Okay you already clipped it...did you really need to punch a hole in it as well? I mean really. The ugly. Well more like stupid. I go in there, by this point I carry a file folder with me with all my documents that they supposedly need so that I won't lose anything in between trips. Because (refer to previous blog) there have been plenty of trips. So I step up, same lady as last trip waits on me. I give her the folder with marriage license and she flips through it and asks where my proof of residency is. Trying to maintain my ever so calm cool and collected demeanor, I simply state that the last trip in, I had these documents, and she made copies and told me she would have to file them until I returned. Okay so she pulls my file. Nothing. Oh there's SOMETHING in there, but it's not the copies of my 2 credit card statements! So she says no one made copies...blah blah blah, and I interrupt with a "yes you did, I watched you do it". Now at this point might I remind you that I'm still collected. She then replies "Whatever". Yes she actually said whatever to me. Are you kidding? Isn't that a little immature? Are we in highschool here? So I ignore that, for now, and she starts checking off boxes and asking me to fill out what I already filled out 2 other times......okay so once again, I fill this form out. Then she asks me to step aside to get my eyes tested. I politely tell her I already took the eye test and passed. She then says "no one checked the box, so we have to do it again". Well that's a shocker, I mean they're so organized, I can't hardly believe that SHE didn't check the box last week. So I play along, take my eye exam and pass AGAIN. Alrighty....then she flips through my documents and I have a question. I ask her why is my marriage license important to transferring my license from Ohio to Michigan? She looks at me with total disgust and says "well M'am, the name on your birth certificate doesn't match the name on your Ohio license, that's why". Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Um of course it doesn't match! I wasn't born married to my husband! Not only that but my old license was in my married name and all my other documents were. But oh no, that's just not gonna do. So okay, I suppress my desire to choke her, and we move on. Step to the side, look up, click. What? Did you just take my picture without warning me? "Yes, that's correct". Um wait a minute...let me see that. Oh Good Lord...I demand a retake! So she humors me and retakes the photo. Okay now this is further than I've ever gotten in this process. I'm almost losing the attitude and converting to relief. Then I go to pay. I hand her my check card. "I'm sorry m'am, we only take cash, check or Discover card for your convenience". How is that in ANY WAY convenient to me? I didn't have my checkbook on me, and cash? I had a grand total of $4.52, not quite enough to cover it. And who even has a Discover card? She is grinning by this point so I'm fairly sure there is a conspiracy going on. Conspiracy? Yes. A conspiracy to drive me mad! So I tell her with increasing aggravation in my voice, that I am NOT coming back in here. She then points me toward an ATM at the back of the room. Ugh. Okay, so I pack up my folder, grab my purse and go to the ATM which of course charges you a fee because it's not compatable with any bank I've ever heard of. I go back and stand in line. I finally make my way back to her, then she asks for my old license again. I give it to her. And she takes a pair of scissors, clips it AND as if that wasn't quite enough, then she grabs a hole punch and punches a hole right through the middle. Okay, THAT'S a little dramatic, but okay. She then hands it back, with my receipt and tells me I'm done. Um. No. I'm not. Where's my license? "That will be sent to you by mail in 7-14 days". Ahhhhhhh! Okay 2 problems. 1. Is it just me or does this not really sound secure? What if it gets delivered to the wrong place? and 2. They still have copies floating around somewhere in that place of my credit card bills. She says they don't, but they do! How can I trust that I'll EVER get my license if they can't even keep track of a person's proof of identity? Ahhhhhhh! But what can I do? Nothing. Not a thing. So I walk out, not skipping with glee as I should, but slightly more upset than when I arrived, if that's even possible. Because now, I've gone through ALL this, paid them money, sacrificed my sanity....and for what? To be handed a mangled up gnarled version of my home state's driver's license. This is why the rivalry exists between the Buckeyes and the Wolverines. No no no it's not about football, that's just a front. It's about the license bureau. You see it's so simple. Because my husband moved from Michigan to Ohio after we met, and had to go through this same process down there. Although I must say, they're smarter and actually give you the license right then and there and skip losing it in the mail, but he too had to make more than one trip in to changes plates and get a new license. I'm telling you, there should be one driver's license that you need that would cover you in any state. That would make much more sense and then maybe, just maybe, my two beloved states could coexist in harmony.

Just call me Kleenex

2008-05-06T14:56:00.000-04:00

So being a Mom, I have my ~~weeks~~ days where I feel like a human kleenex. My daughter seems to have caught a bug, it's one of those lovely kind that has her going one way or the other, if you know what I mean. If it's not one bodily function, it's another. And to top it off she has a runny nose. Being the little lady I have worked hard to raise, she has taken to grabbing whatever is nearby to wipe her nose on. Now this is not because she sees ME wiping my nose on the arm of a chair or her brother's clean shirt. So I am not sure where we went wrong with her manners. Anyway, that being said, we've got a mess on our hands. She will seem fine for a few hours, and then whamo, one end or the other will blow. She rarely gets sick, but when she does, she does it up right! Brandon caught a lot more "bugs" when he was her age, but he also went to daycare. So what to do what to do. I find myself running in circles between keeping her clean and making sure there isn't a catastrophe lurking...such as throw up on the furniture or snot dribbles on the clean towels. I am a huge fan of germ gel. I have germ gel stationed throughout the house in hopes that when the kids catch the crud, I won't! Because lets face it, Moms just don't have time for it! And kids don't take a break for us to get sick, oh no. Far be it from them to behave for a 24 hour coughing sneezing aching stuffy head fever...blah blah blah..... So off I go to restore my house to anti-bacterial glory while the poor little thing takes a nap. Heading for the hazmat suit......

The Devil's Armpit

2008-05-05T20:54:00.001-04:00

So I'm going to attempt, for the 4th time, to go renew my driver's license tomorrow. I have lived in Michigan for 2 1/2 years now and I still have my Ohio driver's license. And honestly, if it wasn't illegal, I'd keep it that way and just make the 4 hour drive back home to renew it. It'd be so much less of a hassel!! I am trying ~~not to freak out inside~~ to think positively and create positive vibes so that I can just breeze in there tomorrow and breeze out with my new Michigan Driver's License in hand, skipping with glee and waving it for all to see. Hey that rhymed. lol Okay enough nonsense. I have really been procrastinating for ~~a few years~~ a month or so about going to the ~~Devil's Armpit~~ License Bureau and getting this taken care of. Apparently it's a little illegal to not change your license after having moved a few years ago. So I went in like the upstanding citizen I am to make this thing right with the law. I walked in, and at first, there was no one else there except me and the people at the counters. I faintly heard angels singing "Hallelujah" in the distance. I thought this would be a snap. So I hurry over to the counter, and display all of my documents and verification onto the counter for the kind gentleman to see. Lets see what we have here. We have a birth certificate. Check. We have a social security card. Check. We have the old license. Check. We have a JC Penney bill aka proof of residency. Check. Then it goes to silence. He seems to be studying something. Maybe he's having one of those quiet seizures? I start to wonder if I should shake him, when he comes to and says "uh oh M'am". I say "What?". He says, in a very official voice, "you'll need one more proof of residency M'am." At this point, I was still calm and thought this could all be worked out. So I state that I live 30 minutes away, gas is almost 4.00 per gallon and don't I have enough proof at hand to get me licensed in the state of Michigan? And to that my friend replies, "No M'am, I'm sorry, you do not". Okay, so I procede to make the trek back home and get another bill to prove that I am me. I return an hour later, get back in line, and procede to the front, whereupon a kind looking lady in a cheerful voice says, "Next!". Okay so I take out ALL my proof and my old license, display them proudly for her, and she moves me over to the eye exam station. Yay!! I am on my way! So I read the second line from the bottom, eyes squinted, then I tell her where the red light is flashing. She's says I passed. Then I move back over to fill out a form, and in the middle of doing so, I hear her say "Oh no". My eyes glance upward, squinting, not wanting to believe she was saying that to me. So I look back down and finish the form. I look back up and she has a frown. She then tells me that I will need my marriage license to complete this process. So I scream. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! In my head. Not out loud. Then I politely say "are you kidding me?". Nope she's not, and then I get testy. She cheerfully tells me that there IS indeed a silver lining. She hands me a yellow sticky that will let me secure first place in line after I drive another hour to and fro to go get my marriage license. Why do I need my marriage license? I have no idea. See we didn't get that far, because my attitude wouldn't allow it. I then respond to her that it would've been helpful if the gentleman that helped me earlier had actually told me I needed to bring that in addition to the proof of residency. She says "oh, well yes, I imagine so". Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Then I ask her if there is ANYTHING ELSE that I will need? A kidney? Shot records? First born? Blood sample? What? She stares at me, bats her eyelashes and says "no, that should do it". Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! So I storm out and that was last week, Tuesday I believe. I haven't made an attempt since then. And so tomorrow I will torture myself once again in hopes of being a legally driving Michiganian. Or is it Michigander? Oh who cares, just give me the damn license!

Just another manic Monday...whoaaaaa whoaaaaa....

2008-05-05T07:49:00.000-04:00

.......wish it were Sunday.....whoaaaaa whoaaaa.... Today is the day.....THE day........I am cutting out a very bad habit for good. I am quitting smoking. And so begins my day, the alarm goes off, I come down and start the computer, write a few bills out, then go wake Brandon up. This week he's going off to 6th grade camp (that is why I set this week as my quit week, so he'd be out of the line of fire). Hailey gets up shortly after and so far the morning seems to be running smoothe. And then.....as I'm rushing around to get Brandon's last few things ready for camp, I see him sitting idly by clicking away on the computer. Excuse me? Since when did I become his servant? Just as I was about to enlighten him, I hear Hailey upstairs throwing up. Oh no. Is this some cosmic joke on me? Okay, deep breaths, I can do this. So I go upstairs with my Hazmat suit on ready to clean up the toxic spillage, when the bi-polar cat whizzes past me and picks a fight with Hailey's Dora that she'd left on the hallway floor. I offered to catsit for a friend for a few days while she was away, little did I know what unspeakable joy we'd be in for. This is the feline version of Cujo. She's extremely fickle. One minute she's purring and prancing in front of you wanting attention, and then next, she's hissing and growling. I think some Prozac or Lithium might do this cat a world of good. Anyway, so back to Hailey. I get her and the floor cleaned up, and send her into her room to get dressed. I come downstairs and check the time, 15 minutes til his bus arrives. Okay I think we're packed, I go down my mental checklist, good. I ask him if he's had breakfast and he replies "I don't know what to have". Really? Because we have a cabinet full of cereal, bread, bagels...so I direct his attention to the breakfast food and he half heartedly makes a piece of toast before leaving for camp. He used to love breakfast, but in this last year, it's nearly a fight to get him to eat a good breakfast in the mornings. But choose your battles, and so I do, and I rarely make that one of them. And so I am off to brew some coffee, listen to the Today Show and attempt to balance the checkbook. Wish me luck on my first of many smoke free days.

Wild Kingdom

2008-05-04T20:04:00.000-04:00

For those of you curious at how my ant problem is going, we did get an exterminator in last Friday! I am seeing less and less of the little pests, and I was told that it would take 7-14 days for them to be gone. She (yes the exterminator was a she...people gasp everytime I say it was a woman) said that this was the worst case of carpenter ants she'd seen in a while. Great. Anyway, she sprayed the outside, and did a gel bate with syringe to the inside of the house. So far so good. She said it would also take care of the stinging insects outside the house, which I am most relieved about. We couldn't go out on our sunporch without at least 10 bees of different varieties buzzing around us. While we're on the topic of Wild Kingdom....we are surrounded by woods and we get the good fortune to see a lot of deer around our house. The other evening, just before sundown, my husband and I were out back and saw 8 deer scampering through the woods by the brook. It was amazing. This coming from a girl that was raised in the city and until moving up here, I had never seen a deer except on TV or well as road kill. So this is why I especially enjoy my surroundings. I wasn't raised around anything like this, in fact when Brandon was little we lived in one apartment near the highway and then moved to an apartment by a railroad track, and then by a Firestation. HAHAHA Yes it's true! So I was used to the sounds of the city and it didn't bother me a bit. When we moved up here it was so quiet! You could actually hear nature...it was nothing like what I was used to and I have to say it takes a minute for a city slicker to make friends with nature. Now however, we live in a quiet setting that comes alive at night with the sounds of crickets and frogs, and an occasional Mooooooo off in the distance. I must say the scariest thing I've encountered since the move from the city to country life is what I found in our shed. Long story short, my friend and I were cleaning out the garage and I went back to the shed to put some things away...where I found, upon moving the wheel barrow, a half of a red squirrel. And by half, I mean HALF. The butt half. I let loose a scream and made a run for it! I've never been back there again. Now I'm sure there are those tough as nails women who've been raised on farms that would've just grabbed it up by the tail and flung it into the woods. Um no, not me. I won't even take a shovel and throw it into the woods that way. Again, nope, not by thing. So as we speak, that butt end of a poor unsuspecting squirrel lay in my shed for my husband to deal with. Because there are just some things, no matter what kind of equal opportunity feminst bra burner you are, there's just some things that THIS woman ain't touchin! My hats off to those women who could, but to those whose gag reflex wouldn't allow it, kudos to you too!

"Slimwear" or better known as Fat Suckers

2008-04-27T00:58:00.000-04:00

I have been intrigued by this concept since the birth of my second child. I am not what you would call overweight, but I still have that illusion in my head that after giving birth by c-section to 2 kids, my body should have recovered by now. I won't even mention how tiny I was before my 1st child came along, I might cry and you might cyber slap me. ha! But the fact remains, things are not as they once were. So I browsed online on and off for months, but refused to pay $50.00-$80.00 for a piece of lycra. But, I would however pay $12.00 + shipping and handling. This undergarment came with excellent reviews, so it seemed my prayers had been answered. I enthusiastically placed my order and awaited my new fat sucker by mail, which came astonishingly fast, 2 days later. I ordered a Large, as the sizing chart seemed to be off by normal standards, so I played it safe. As soon as the box arrived I wanted to try them on. One review claimed that it helped her lose 14 pounds! Could it be so? I eagerly ripped the plastic that encased my magic undies, much like an overeager child lunging for their presents at Christmastime, and raced to the bathroom to try them on. Once I fought with them and pulled, jerked and manhandled them on, first I noticed that they came up to just beneath my boobs. Wow, not very attractive, but hey, who's going to see it besides maybe my husband, if he's lucky? I'm sure he'll be enticed. lol The next thing I noticed is that they REALLY DO suck those problem areas IN. Wow. I was impressed, for a minute. And then I felt a wave come over me...was it the magic working? No, it was my circulation cutting off. They weren't the most comfortable garment I've ever worn, but such is the price for beauty, or the illusion anyway. So I continued to try to "break them in", and wore them throughout the day. I guess the most surprising thing was that all sensation left my lower extremities. Well I mean I could walk, I can't say whether it was graceful, but I could walk. What I am really speaking of though is there was no urge to go pee. No I didn't pee my pants, but it's a good thing I noticed it had been oh several hours since I went, because once those fat suckers came down and circulation was restored...well you get my drift. I wore them at dinner and could only eat 1/2 what I normally eat. So yes, I could see where a person could shed a few pounds if they wore them 24/7. I can't say I'm dedicated to wearing them to lose weight, but I am sure I will wear them again, for special occasions. I guess when it comes down to comfort versus beauty, comfort wins hands down for me. I am a jeans and tshirt kinda girl, give me a comfy pair of sweats and a hoodie anyday over having to dress up. I have never been a big fan of the concept "no pain, no gain". I am not trying to deter you ladies from trying slimwear, just beware there is no magical fix, but for an evening, we can pretend, as long as you remember to go pee.

Memories

2008-04-26T23:16:00.000-04:00

When the ants come marching in...

2008-04-25T15:14:00.000-04:00

Well we seem to have ourselves a little ant problem. By little I mean, they're huge carpenter ants that may just carry me away in the cover of night. I HATE bugs. A bug is a bug to me, I hate them equally one and all. So to solve this problem, my dear husband set out these little bate things. Which really don't seem to be doing a whole heckuva lot. He doesn't want to spray. Okay, so what are our options then? Let them move in? I know with all the current hype about eco friendly everything, that bug spray is probably on the top of the no-no list. But I have to say, if it kills em, I'm all for it. I do have a list of natural remedies that may, or may not, work. These include peppermint, orange peels, cream of tartar, etc. Now I am not above giving these things a try, but I can't see myself laying orange peels around my baseboards and sprinkling cream of tartar and crushed peppermint on the outside of the house. Do you have any idea how many cases of cream of tartar I would need to purchase to get the job done? Maybe for minor infestations these might work, but let me tell ya, we have a situation on our hands over here! We did conclude that they are probably coming from the beams above us in the living room. These beams, unbenownst to us before we moved in, are rotten and need replaced. And we all know that carpenter ants love damp rotten wood. So it stands to reason they would cozy in there. Fortunatley we only see these little creeps on one floor of the house, and many die before I have the chance to kill them. But some are still alive and severly creeping me out. I am constantly swatting myself when nothing is there. I question my sanity at this point, but c'mon, bugs just give me the heeby jeebies! It's the same reason why I am not the biggest fan of camping. The last time I went, I woke up in the morning and opened my eyes to a huge daddy long legs staring at me. This is not cool. Bugs were made for out there, humans were made for in here. You go there, I stay here, and we're all good. So I talked to his (my husband's) best friend today, and you know that if I as his wife can't talk sense into him, who better to do the job? So Scott called tonight and voila, all of a sudden he's thinking maybe we should get a second opinion (besides his) on this whole ant situation. Ya think? I am calling to get quotes tomorrow! Yay! There is light at the end of this dark creepy tunnel! I don't know about you, but for me, the site of bugs crawling amongst us, no matter what KIND of bug, I just can't take it. Okay now I can handle a bug or two, that's to be expected, we live on the outskirts of town with woods around us. But to have them migrate from faraway lands and claim this, our new home, as THEIR new home, is NOT acceptable! I am reminded of the mucinex commercial, only in my mind, instead of the mucus with their little suitcases, I envision ants. lol I have, on the bright side, found a magical solution that is non toxic to kill them AND also does a great job on windows! A couple squirts of Dawn dish soap in a spray bottle, fill the rest with water, and spray. It suffocates them instantly and gives the windows a glorious streak free shine. So that has been my sad delight on what was probably the last gorgeous day we'll have for several more. I am the ant suffocator. And I delighted in it. I have no problem with them outside. I will go out of my way not to step on them when they're on THEIR turf. But when they have the nerve to think they're going to set up a circus in my home, it's ON! They may win a battle or two, but I shall win the war! I did however take a break from the bug executions today and took a bike ride with Brandon. That was so nice! Although a bug flew down my shirt towards the end of our trek and almost made me crash, I avoided disaster and quickly went home to my garage where I flailed and jumped and flapped my shirt up and down much like the wet tshirt contest girls do. lol The bug died of shock I think, it just fell out, didn't even fight me. Anyway onward and upward I say! Til next time.....

Brief Intro

2008-04-25T13:34:00.000-04:00

So where to start? I guess I'm now a "blogger?" I have a myspace that I keep the occasional blog on, but I do love to write so in an effort to give my soul a little cup of joy, here goes. I am Liz, mommy of 2, 3 if you count my husband (I think you'd agree, husbands count). Brandon is my oldest, he is 12 going on 2, and Hailey is 3 going on 16. They are the joys of my life, oh and let me not forget James, the fatherchild. I live a pretty middle America life, just bought a house in October (yay!), which we are now rennovating (boo!). I realize all of my good fortune and all of my blessings, so at any time in future blogs where I might complain, it is all in good fun and/or to let off a little steam. Please no hate mail. haha However brief my introduction, I will expand on this later. For now, I have ants to kill. We seem to have an invasion of carpenter ants, and they seem to be dead set on driving especially me batty. I will elaborate on this matter later as well, off I go wielding a spray bottle of dawn dishsoap and water (eco friendly AND it works!).